Joe Duffy (Liveline):"When did you discover you were dead, Patricia?"

Patricia Tallon: "When I saw the paper, Joe. It isn't everyone alive can see their death in the paper. I got an awful shock . . . but thank God I'm alive. I've even been to the doctor and he confirmed I'm okay."

- Stephen Ireland's grandmother on reading in her newspaper that she had passed away, "information" that had led to the player's withdrawal from the Irish squad on the eve of last year's European qualifier against the Czech Republic.