PLANET SOCCER:More than a few dozen eyebrows were raised when Roy Keane signed El Hadji Diouf for Sunderland last summer, for a fee of €2.98 million (£2.6m).
Keane, though, explained the decision by suggesting Diouf was the kind of player opposing teams and supporters loved to hate. Alas, in the end, it was Sunderland’s own fans who failed to fall for Diouf, the player leaving six months later for Blackburn (for roughly €686,800 less than Sunderland spent on him). What had he promised when he arrived at Sunderland? That he could have the same impact at the club as Diego Maradona had at Napoli. “I want to make history with Sunderland, as I did with Bolton,” he said, with a straight face. “I am special, just like I am on the pitch.”
Oh well.
Quotes of the season
“I want Everton – it’s my dream. Everton want me, and Arsenal do too, so I’m waiting. I want to play for Manchester United, Arsenal, Liverpool and Chelsea. Chelsea is my favourite. If Manchester, Everton or Arsenal come for me, I will go. It’s all very, very good. Manchester is my dream: I’d join them. And I like Everton. So I’m waiting.”
– Rennes midfielder Stephane Mbia.
Journalist with Nutsmagazine: "Denis, do you remember where you were when United won the Treble in Barcelona in '99?" "Oh yes – I was playing left back." – Denis Irwin.
“There is no beach and no sun.”
– After weeks of searching, Robinho gave up trying to find Manchester’s Copacabana.
"Rochdale were making more holes in the Bradford defence than in a Spanish Aircraft. – BBC Radio Manchester reporter Chris Price doing a live update in a League Two game just a week after the plane crash in Madrid that killed 154 people.
Price later explained that he was intent on injecting a bit of “colour” to his report – he, eh, succeeded. The station’s switchboard lit up, the BBC issued an apology, and Price sort of did too.
“It wasn’t meant to be funny,” he said. No kiddin’.
Carra's concern
In his autobiography Jamie Carragher called for a bit of immigration control in Britain in light of his own family’s experience with unemployment in Liverpool. “I’ve got two brothers who find it hard to work in Liverpool,” he said, “one of the reasons is we’ve made it too easy for foreigners to come here and take the jobs.” As Football 365 pointed out, after doing some totting up: “Number of foreigners for whom Liverpool Football Club have made it easy to get work as first-team footballers: 44.”
Robinson spurns ideal opportunity
The world was his, eh, lobster at Crystal Palace, 18-year-old Ashley-Paul Robinson offered a new contract after breaking into the first team. But before he signed it Palace discovered that the player had arranged a trial for himself with a Premier League club. How did they find out? The young fella posted the information on his Facebook page: “Ashley-Paul Is Travling 2 Bath With Fulham Fingers Crossed. Im lukin 2 Get Sum Tips Of Jimmy Bullard He’s ON DIS TING NO HYPE LOL.”
The trial didn’t work out, Palace withdrew their offer of a contract and last heard Robinson was playing non-league football with Bromley.
More quotes . . .
"I am a dreamer and this has been one of my dreams," – Italian midfielder Manuel Pascali when he left Parma for, well, Kilmarnock.Happily, things worked out well for Pascali, who has become a bit of a fans' favourite, but, he admitted, it took him time to adapt to his team-mates' entertainment preferences. "Everyone at Kilmarnock drinks industrial quantities of beer," he said. "One time the whole squad went on a trip to Newcastle. Everybody bought themselves animal costumes as though it was a carnival and we put them on to go on a pub crawl round the city. I was dressed as a cow."
September: "Alex is very good with me and I really feel he loves me as a person." – Carlos Tevez on being romanced by Ferguson.
May: "I spoke with Tevez on the phone and the first thing he said to me was 'That old man doesn't like me'." – Diego Maradona revealing the affair was over.
"The last time I heard of 3-2-1 was that show with Ted Rogers and Dusty Bin." – Harry Redknapp is bit mystified by Fabio Capello's formation against the Czech Rep.
José Mourinho: "Maybe you should pick the (Inter Milan) team?" Reporter: "I would if you gave me part of the nine million euros you earn." Mourinho: "It's not nine, it's 11 and with sponsors it comes to 14."
Keegan keen on novel coatstands
Kevin Keegan has often been accused during his managerial career of being a bit clueless when it came to tactics, “just go out and enjoy yourselves – and don’t worry about defending” supposedly the gist of his team-talks. When he replaced Sam Allardyce as Newcastle manager he found an “interactive whiteboard for tactical illustrations” in the dressing-room. What became of the whiteboard, which cost a packet, in Keegan’s reign? It was used as a coatstand.
For that, Keegan wins our manager of the season award.
