Consequences ignored as Vinny's old habits die hard

AGAINST THE ODDS: THERE WASN’T much time to arrange the sweep, but the six friends were past masters at applying themselves, …

AGAINST THE ODDS:THERE WASN'T much time to arrange the sweep, but the six friends were past masters at applying themselves, especially when there was money at stake or when it was time for last orders in Foley's.

In this instance it was a tenner a head, with one proviso: the winner had to buy a round.

If none of the six hit the pin, they all got their money back, but as Vinny Fitzpatrick scribbled down his three Ryder Cup wild cards on a piece of paper, which he folded neatly and passed to Brennie on his left, he was sure someone would collect.

For starters, the lads all followed golf, even Kojak who didn’t play and Shanghai who could no longer hold a club because of the uncontrollable jigs in his hands.

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They all regarded the Ryder Cup as tailor-made for TV, for sipping pints and placing bets – they had cleaned up on a Yanks victory in Valhalla two years ago.

Now the challenge was to second-guess Monty and his vice-captains and identify the three wild cards for the European team in Celtic Manor.

Due to the late finish of the golf in Gleneagles, coupled with the gripping football finale at Croker, the lads were under starter’s orders from Macker to get a wriggle on.

The Ryder Cup discussion was intense, every bit as concentrated as the one in Monty’s gaffe the night before, even if the menu was a tad different – six pints of stout and three bags of crisps per round.

Predictably, the case for including Pádraig Harrington – or not – dominated.

Vinny was firmly in the Harrington camp on the basis that, as a three-time major winner, he was a player most of the Yanks least wanted to confront.

But more so because he was certain Monty had been batting for Harrington behind closed doors, recalling how the pair had teamed up so effectively at The Belfry in 2002.

While he appreciated concerns over Harrington’s poor form in 2010, especially in the majors, and the annoyance over his decision to play in the States rather than try to qualify automatically for the team, he was certain Monty would go for him.

Others weren’t. “In the last two Ryder Cups, Harrington managed half a lousy point. He’s a liability, I’m telling you,” insisted Fran.

“What message does it send out to the Tour regulars when someone of Harrington’s status doesn’t play the last two qualifying events?” asked Shanghai. “I don’t think Harrington cares about the Ryder Cup like he used to.”

Vinny knew the points were valid but the final call was Monty’s, who was leaning on two Irishmen, one of them a close friend of Harrington’s, for advice. For all the negatives about Harrington, and there were many, Vinny was convinced the man who mattered most, Monty, wasn’t going to leave him out.

He was also convinced Edoardo Molinari had just played his way on to the team with a finish that had left everyone in Foley’s gobsmacked.

With the Italian two behind with three to play, Fran had offered 10 to 1 against him picking up three shots to win outright. Even though the 16th and 18th were par fives, no one nibbled.

But a birdie-birdie-birdie finish had not only won the tournament, it made a tungsten-like case for a wild card, even if Fran observed caustically, “Yeah, but he wasn’t going to get one this morning”.

The merits of Paul Casey, Justin Rose and Simon Dyson were tossed about, with Brennie making a point which, Vinny noted, would later prove perceptive.

“Casey’s a chocolate bar who loves himself. There’s no “me” in team and I don’t think he’ll get in. He was a Faldo pick last time and you’d have thought he’d have burst a gut to get in off his own bat, but he didn’t.”

Kojak felt Martin Laird was worth considering and argued the wild card selection should have been delayed until Monday.

“Say Laird wins tonight from a word-class field, wouldn’t you want him in the team? And why is it that the American event doesn’t count for selection and the European one does? I’ll tell you, because Johnnie Walker is calling the shots, that’s why,” he snapped.

As Macker made a left-field call for picking big-hitting Alvaros Quiros – “he’d be perfect for Jimenez” – Vinny sipped contentedly.

Here, in his Clontarf hostelry, he felt safe – safe from the distraction of Julia, the Weight Watcher vixen with a roving eye on what was below Vinny’s belt rather than above.

Safe, too, from the dreaded health-kick which his doctors had suggested he embrace to improve the quality of his life.

Quality of life! Damn it, he only had a finite number of breaths to take, so why waste them by jogging up and down the Bull Wall and risking another cardiac arrest? A few quiet pints with friends in Foley’s was, Vinny felt, the perfect antidote for his health issues.

True, he should perhaps cut down on the crisps and the curried chips, but that was for another day. Right now, he was feeling more chipper than he had for a long time, even if Everton’s loss to Aston Villa had led to gentle ribbing from the lads.

That morning, he had shoved his Weight Watcher card in the bin and celebrated with a five-sausage brekkie, two runny fried eggs, a pot of tea and two slices of thick batch bread – it had been magnificent.

Ahead of a roast chicken dinner with his darling wife, Angie, he was about to polish off his sixth pint and reckoned he could squeeze in one more before heading home, at his pace.

Before that, it was time for Monty to end the suspense. All eyes turned to the telly. After 51 weeks and 47 tournaments, this was it. The wild cards were: Harrington, Donald and Molinari.

Immediately, there were both cheers and jeers from around the table and Vinny knew by the reaction that most of the lads, if not all, were out of bounds in the sweep.

He said nothing and reached for his pocket.

“I’ll go first. Here are Fran’s selections,” he said. “Casey, Donald, Molinari.” Fran was next. “Macker chose Harrington, Casey, Molinari.” Around the table it went, until finally Brennie unfolded the paper given to him earlier by Vinny.

“So far, Fran, Macker and Kojak have two out of three,” he said. “Vinny’s picks are . . . Harrington, Donald, Molinari. Bang on the money.”

Vinny smiled as he gathered in the pot. He had got lucky, as Donald was a hunch, nothing more. Monty could easily have gone for Casey or Rose – but then after the summer he’d had, maybe he was due a break.

He waddled to the bar and caught Dial-A-Smile’s eye. “Put this lot behind the bar for us,” he said handing over the sweep money. “And add this to it,” he said, thrusting another €15 at the barman.

There was enough for three pints each for the lads and Vinny was in no hurry to leave. A cold supper, and the inevitable row that would come with it, would have to wait.

Bets of the Week

3pts Kilkenny to lead at half-time and full-time in All-Ireland SHC final (5/6, Paddy Power)

2pts Ireland to draw with Armenia in European Championship (13/5, Stan James)

Vinny's Bismark

2pts Lay US to beat Europe in Ryder Cup

(6/4, general, liability 3pts)

Roddy L'Estrange

Roddy L'Estrange

Roddy L'Estrange previously wrote a betting column for The Irish Times