![Gráinne Walsh: 'I’ve had four more fights now that I wouldn’t have had [had she qualified in Milan]. I’ve had a full tournament, I’m in great physical and mental shape at the minute.' Photograph: Fabrizio Carabelli/Inpho](https://www.irishtimes.com/resizer/v2/JYRJSU76TFHTRIZ3TFA5B7ADKI.jpg?auth=b925343bc8fd853022494622df4a3f2aeec232dad4b7e1f7f4186272d94a3e6e&smart=true&width=1024&height=683)
In the weeks leading up to the final Olympic qualification fight in Bangkok – the last chance to make it to Paris – boxer Gráinne Walsh sent photos of herself “in floods of tears” into her family group chat. Not from disappointment, but from a combination of relief and pride having convinced herself she would qualify.
“I was never into visualisation before, but I take my dad’s advice with everything. One day he got a brainwave to do it, and then I was flat out.”
Disappointed tears had flowed after Milan in March, when the Offaly native failed to qualify after a split decision, one that many felt she was hard done by.
“I was constantly crying thinking, ‘what if I never get the opportunity to call myself an Olympian because of that decision?’ That’s what I was so worried about, because my weight category in Ireland was one of the most stacked in terms of talent.
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“Initially, when I got home from Milan, I was lying in bed thinking I’m in a worse position now than I was a month ago. I had been that close to qualifying and then I was straight back to being on a level-playing field with the other people in my weight class.
“My fear throughout all my career and being injured was never getting to go to an Olympic qualifier? I never knew whether I was good enough or not to qualify. But the fact that I went to Milan, and I should have qualified, I had the answer . . . I knew I was good enough.”
Having that answer triggered a new question. Would she do everything she could to go to the Olympics? To make sure that she left everything out there, to be an indisputable winner?
She’d done it before, implementing new habits to take preparation to the next level. Not qualifying for the European games last year prompted Walsh to give up even the occasional drink until after the Olympics.
“I’m not a regular drinker, obviously not. But I knew it would set me apart from other people who maybe have a casual one every month.”
The Olympics would be a whole different beast, requiring “something in my head that is going to give me more of a confidence boost and a bulletproof mindset to think that I did everything in my power. When you do these things consistently over a longer period of time, that gives you huge confidence going into a ring knowing that you actually couldn’t do any more.
“I had about an eight- or 10-week gap to improve, to think ‘what can I actually do that’lI have me in better shape?’
“As an athlete, you have to be so brutally honest with yourself. You can listen to advice from people, coaches, family and all that, but you have to know in your own heart whether you’ve given a 100 per cent or you haven’t. And I didn’t perform my best in that fight in Milan.”
Walsh has also been focused on the end goal, taking her out of the moment.
“I’m human too, and it’s so hard to stop yourself from thinking about the next nine minutes and if I win, ‘oh my God, I’m an Olympian, I have this. I get to have that, my life changes forever’.
“I was focusing on all the outcome, everything after the process, but I still had to go through it. I just presumed ‘happy days, I’m going to be an Olympian’ and took my eye off the ball in that sense.”
On reflection – “it’s so hard in the moment” – it felt as though Milan was part of her predestined path, learning the lesson of what it really means to be an Olympian, the strength and sacrifice it takes to get that coveted ticket.
“I think the best thing for me was not qualifying because it made me have to self-reflect so much and look within myself to think, ‘right, I was that close, I should have qualified, but I didn’t. I can’t change the past. What can I do to ensure that next time I do’?
“Did I actually want to qualify or was I prepared to do whatever it took to qualify? And you find out one way or another whether you’re prepared or not. I had to do a bit more self-reflection, see what else I could do to go that extra yard.”
That’s where the visualising comes in. As part of her training for Bangkok, she would “actively rehearse” her desired outcome: a unanimous victory.
“I’ve got a bit more faith in all that and trusting in the timing. Following five injuries, I was like this is a piss-take. Well, I understand now. I was saying to my dad, ‘why would that have happened? What do I need to learn?’ But I didn’t see it at the time until Bangkok. The night before the qualification fight, I was sitting in this ramen bar with my da, my brother and my sister and I was saying, ‘I had the best month of my life’. That was before I ever qualified. I’d enjoyed it wholeheartedly and been fully present for it.
“People were texting me the night before the final and they were saying, ‘best of luck tomorrow’; And all I kept replying to people was ‘this is my time’.”
The following day, Walsh won her fight unanimously, didn’t drop a round, definitively defeating Armenia’s Ani Hovsepyan to secure her spot on the Irish team.
“My celebration in my head was different to what happened on the day, because on the day there’s an outburst of emotion, that can’t be rehearsed. But yeah, getting handed my ticket, all of the things I could see so vividly. But the emotional side of it was more on the day compared to the visualisation practice. I was crying every single day when I was doing it beforehand. It was that real in my head.
“Seeing my arm being raised and oh God, it’s mad. I actually did live that moment over in my head so many times and then when it came true, it was like deja vu.”
A matter of weeks before the Olympics, Walsh is back to living in the present moment but visualising the future.
“I’ve had four more fights now that I wouldn’t have had [had she qualified in Milan]. I’ve had a full tournament, I’m in great physical and mental shape at the minute. The momentum is with you, you have enough time to dip a little bit to just go up again. So honestly, I feel like the whole thing was exactly meant to be like this.”
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