WORD OF MOUTH
“My family and I all went to look at it – it’s a heap of s**t, to be fair.”
Mick McCarthy’s review of ‘Saipan’ the movie – he walked out after 20 minutes.
“When I think of the Irish I do not think first of oppression, I think of resistance, I think unity, I think of corned beef and 96th-minute Troy Parrott goals, and the Pogues’ Fairytale of New York.”
A St Patrick’s Day speech from New York City mayor Zohran Mamdani who might just be the first man in history to fit corned beef and Troy Parrott in to the same sentence.
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“You try to press a player, but the ball is already with someone else. After a while, you’re just running. You don’t even know who you’re chasing.”
A dazed Joelinton after Newcastle’s 7-2 shellacking in Barcelona.
Japan’s manager better at coaching than analogies
Nils Nielsen, who was born in Greenland but grew up in Denmark, became the first foreign coach of the Japanese women’s side when he was appointed to the job just over a year ago. And it’s fair to say that things have been going rather well.
After winning all five of their games en route to Saturday’s Asian Cup final, scoring 28 goals and conceding just one, he was a bit chuffed with his players. “If you turned out the lights in the stadium so nobody could see anything, they could still find each other,” he purred.
But even though Japan are ranked fifth in the world, 10 places higher than Australia, he was dismissing any notion that they were red-hot favourites to beat the hosts in the final in Sydney.
“That question about who’s the favourite in the final? It’s like asking a bee to explain to a fly why honey is better than s**t. It’s exactly the same question. Both teams can win. I will ask next time I get a chance to see a fly, ‘why the hell are you sitting on s**t when there’s honey right next to it?’ And then they say, ‘for me, it tastes better.’ I say, ‘okay, go ahead – I don’t like s**t so you can have it, I go for the honey.”
No, to be honest, we didn’t understand the analogy either, but in the end, Japan were the bee’s knees – they beat Australia 1-0 in front of a crowd of 74,397 to win their third Asian Cup. Australia were left eating, well, you know.
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“After my father, McTominay is the most influential player in Napoli’s history. In Naples, we had God – for me, McTominay is Jesus.”
Technically, Diego Maradona jnr is the son of God – but he’s generously passing that crown on to Scott.
NUMBER: 87
Happy birthday Giovanni Trapattoni who, appropriately, was busy blowing out 87 candles on St Patrick’s Day.
Jorginho’s strange beef with Chappell Roan
Unlikeliest feud of the week: Probably the one between Italian international Jorginho and popster Chappell Roan. The gist: Jorginho’s 11-year-old stepdaughter Ada Law is a mega fan of the American singer and was very, very excited to spot her in a hotel in São Paulo where she was staying with her mother.
But Ada was left in tears when Roan’s security staff confronted her mother over allowing the girl ask for a photo with Roan and said they would file a complaint against her with the hotel. How peeved was Jorginho when he took to Instagram? Very. After a lengthy vent, he wrote: “WITHOUT YOUR FANS, YOU’D BE NOTHING. AND I’M TALKING TO YOUR FANS: SHE DOESN’T DESERVE YOUR AFFECTION”.
And then the mayor of Rio de Janeiro banned Roan from ever performing in the city’s music festival Todo Mundo no Rio. “I doubt that Shakira would do that,” he declared. Chappell? Agree to a pic next time.
MORE WORD OF MOUTH
“I’m ready to build a statue of Rüdiger and put it in my garden.”
Real Madrid manager Álvaro Arbeloa somewhat hinting that he’d quite like Antonio to sign a new contract with the club.
“We are sleeping less on the pitch.”
Igor Tudor explaining why Spurs’ form picked up a touch.
“Life in London is good, the city has so much to offer, but when it comes to England as a whole, it’s a different story: London is London, but the rest ... What I miss most about Italy is the sun, more than anything else. I’d like to see friends and family more often, but I’m not complaining.”
Arsenal’s Riccardo Calafiori – complaining.
