You might have read Damien Duff’s reaction last week to news that his second-choice goalie, Scott van der Sluis, had skedaddled to Love Island. Duffer was, he said, “shocked and saddened that Scott chose a villa in Mallorca full of beautiful single women” over the Shelbourne bench.
You got to wondering on Friday night if Stephen Kenny’s players were tempted to join Scott in the villa, not necessarily because of all the beautiful single women, more because at least there they’d be shielded from the slaggings they’ve been getting since that performance against Greece.
By common-ish consent, our pundits concluded after the game that it was time for the FAI to re-couple, that they should ditch Kenny and find a new partner.
Liam Brady, mind, had some sympathy for him when he paid tribute to his squad. “This is the worst group of players that any manager has had in my lifetime,” he said. “Martin O’Neill, Mick McCarthy, Steve Staunton, Jack Charlton, Brian Kerr ... they had better players than Stephen has at the moment.”
World Cup 2026: Ireland’s qualifying draw not as daunting as could have been
Ireland to face Portugal or Denmark, Hungary, Armenia in World Cup 2026 qualifying
The top 25 women’s sporting moments of the year: 25-16 revealed with Vikki Wall, Lara Gillespie and Ireland Sevens featuring
Dejan Kulusevski comes off bench to get Tottenham draw at Rangers
But he still thought Kenny should get more out of the worst group of Irish players since 1956 when, if they’re that wojous, would a joint management team of, say, Carlo Ancelotti and Pep Guardiola fare any better?
That’s the 100 million dollar question, which is roughly what it would cost to hire the pair. Don’t be holding your breath.
But even Richie Sadlier, who at times like this tends to be the only pundit who keeps his head when all about him are losing theirs, struggled to put up a defence for the Kenny era, noting that his ever-buoyant talking up of his players’ potential raises expectations which are then, habitually, left deflated.
[ Stephen Kenny: ‘We’ve given ourselves a mountain to climb’Opens in new window ]
Over on Virgin Media, Damien Delaney went studs in, as is his wont. “Ultimately, he’s out of his depth... he’s been found out now. He’s had enough time in the job and, unfortunately, I think we now need to start looking at other options.”
He might well be right, but if you’re of a certain disposition – snowflakey, some might call it – you’d be baulking at the language, “he’s been found out now” suggesting Kenny is a charlatan who never deserved this opportunity, despite his CV most certainly earning him a shot at the job. Not least at a time when the FAI hadn’t the loot to be bringing in a Big Name looking to top up their pension fund.
Pundits, of course, need big gobs to earn more gigs, but Lord help us if we go down the route of vilifying our gaffers giving it their best shot, even if that’s nowhere near enough, even when they haven’t much to be working with. What next? Stephen Kenny’s face superimposed on to a turnip?
Besides, you just can’t imagine that Kenny instructed Mikey Johnston to be nutmegged by Anastasios Bakasetas and Callum O’Dowda to fail to track Georgios Masouras when he turned the resulting pass home for the winner.
Anyhow. Liamo was slumping ever further in to his seat while talking about the efforts of Josh Cullen and Jayson Molumby (“I counted one good pass between the two of them”), particularly at a loss to understand why Molumby was on the field. “I don’t know what he gives to the Irish team, he was non-existent tonight. Does he make a tackle? I didn’t see him make a tackle.”
[ Ken Early on Greece vs Ireland: A night to forget, just terribleOpens in new window ]
Back on Virgin Media, Brian Kerr maintained the theme about the midfield lads, wondering why the heck Will Smallbone was in the team. “He did well in the friendly against Latvia,” Tommy Martin countered. “I think you or I would have done well against Latvia that night, Tommy.”
Adam Idah? “With due respect, he occasionally does well and scores the odd goal for Norwich... but he has not proved to be up to international standard.”
O’Dowda? “A right winger playing at left-back.”
Any positives? “The selection was wrong, the set-up was wrong, the shape of the team was wrong...”
That was a no, then.
“Kenny has had unprecedented support in the job [but] his results are actually the worst of any manager that has ever managed Ireland – and yet it has been non-stop support from the association. He’s not been getting the job done, he has had four wins in 23 competitive games, 12 defeats.”
Safe to say, Kerr wants an FAI re-coupling.
Gibraltar tonight? Have you ever had a sicker feeling in your tummy?