It’s fair to say my family isn’t one where you should seek a shoulder to cry on after losing a sporting event.
Whether you’re six or 60, my mother always told us to never cry on the field when disappointed (thankfully, her stance has since changed given the fact she’s surrounded by millennials and Generation Z). She used to gently encourage her offspring by screaming from the sideline to get into position, attack the ball, attack the opposition, and whatever else it took to succeed. As my father would gently tell me if I whinged about not playing sports, maybe I should have been grateful to have no limbs.
I now find myself gradually turning into my mother — like all nearly 30-year-olds probably have to admit, albeit reluctantly and somewhat depressingly. My six-year-old niece had her sports day recently and ran a 50m to help her school get points for the local Perpetual Cup, a competition that brings the divisional schools to Millstreet for one morning only.
Immediately I became that mom. We all know the one. The screamer, the whooper, the hollering crazy lady who just wants the best for our superstar
Naturally, my brother and sister-in-law didn’t tell many of us as we may be a bit quick to spot the “potential” in my six-year-old niece. This is the same bunch of siblings who train our dogs obsessively and argue about which one is going to Crufts. Unfortunately for my niece, I happened to be walking the dog around the local park where the competition takes place and noticed a tiny person waving at me while waiting for the races to begin.
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Immediately I became that mom. We all know the one. The screamer, the whooper, the hollering crazy lady who just wants the best for our superstar. A Ukrainian lady even politely asked me which one was mine and I pointed to my niece.
It was game face-on once she got to the line. I handed my phone to a pal of mine and demanded she recorded it. “This could be something special,” I declared as if I was watching Rhasidat Adeleke win an NCAA [National Collegiate Athletic Association championships] title. My niece did a few more waves as I put my hand to my head, telling her to concentrate. The adjudicator (a local teacher) screamed go, and off they went. Except for my niece, who was about a second later than everyone else. I yelled at her to run and she flew. The dog barked, and my friend recorded the wrong child. Not the most successful of Monday mornings.
[ Joanne O’Riordan: Racism imbedded in society and manifesting itself in sportOpens in new window ]
Since it was a fun school event, I didn’t race to the line to check on her — even I have some boundaries and by that stage, the poor dog had enough of me vicariously living through a six-year-old. Either way, the six-year-old was delighted as it was one of her first races and she crossed the line in fifth place. She’s even asked me and her dad to help her learn how to run. I’m already excited not just to teach her how to run, but to be involved in the sport and have fantastic opportunities to make friends and stay healthy.
The other thing is to let children be. Children will make a competition out of it anyway
So while we as adults continue to question what’s suitable for the children, maybe the best thing to do is ask the children and facilitate their needs. Some of my niece’s friends aren’t runners or even sporty in the traditional sense, but it’s up to parents and teachers to see what they like or dislike. Traditional sports aren’t the only ones in Ireland, and more must be done through schools, local communities and sporting bodies to try and get other ones out there.
[ Joanne O’Riordan: I’m fond of a good protest, a little disruption can be healthyOpens in new window ]
The other thing is to let children be. Children will make a competition out of it anyway. The schoolchildren on Monday knew there was a cup going to the winners, and medals were to be awarded to first, second and third. It’s not the current recommended practice, but how long are we going to pretend that traditional sports values, win/lose/draw, learning to cope, learning to make friends and staying healthy aren’t values to shy away from? I’m not saying to bully or belittle children, but there’s no better way of learning life lessons than by actually living them out and learning to cope and bounce back.
Nobody knows if my six-year-old niece will do anything spectacular. Truthfully, nobody cares. But the fact she’s learning, playing and staying healthy is what matters. The fact she’s able to take fifth place on the chin and tell us that she wants to get better isn’t a bad thing. As long as we listen to her, have some fun and hopefully teach her something, that’s all that matters.
