‘I decided to ask for twenty million. There’s no harm, I thought. If you ask for ten, you might only get five. But if you ask for twenty, sure you might get the ten you originally wanted.’

‘With ten minutes to go, I’d just about given up the ghost. And to think, I’d brought an extra pair of shoes with me as well for t(...)

“Well, there’s no shame in losing to the second best team who aren’t as good as everyone thinks they are in the world.”

“There’s a lad on the staff of the hotel,” said Roy. “He’s a top, top operator. I want him in Lille.”

Republic of Ireland defender Ciaran Clark scores an own goal during the Euro 2016 group E  match against Sweden at the Stade de France. Photographing:   Miguel Medina/AFP/Getty Images

‘Stop smiling,’ I said out of the corner of my mouth. ‘We’re supposed to be angry. The very minute they think you’re assuaged, the(...)

“Lads, you have absolutely no – what the French like to call – je ne sais quoi .”

‘Sometimes I feel like a top rugby administrator trapped in the body of a top football administrator’

“I have to confess that my own French sounds like a fella from Kilkenny trying to argue his way into a nightclub with a mouthful of hot chips. But like I said to you, you have to make the effort.”

What I mean is, an employee of the association is forced to make an embarrassing apology – and for once, it isn’t me

“It’s all a waste of time. Because no matter who comes out of the groups, Guinness is going to win the European Championship of Beer, on account of the fact that it’s the best beer ever brewed and it would beat anyone in the knockout stages.”

‘You could be innocently letting your hair down, lamenting the loss of the Fourth Green Field in song, or watching a fella drink t(...)

‘Visions of my head on a Spike as Saipan nightmare revisited”

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