Subscriber OnlyOireachtas

Miriam Lord: It’s ‘Properly Daft.ie’ as the baby Greens wail against their leader’s betrayal

Coalition’s decision to end eviction ban and keep landlords sweet leaves Opposition with a bitter taste

After a long and difficult meeting, the three Coalition leaders finally reach agreement.

They take a tough decision to end the evictions ban and then rustle up a bundle of woolly measures to soften the blow.

Leo Varadkar: Right lads. We’ll need a name for the new rental property scheme which is still under construction but almost, kinda like, near completion?

Micheál Martin: It’ll have to be catchy enough for the Opposition to buy off the plans.

READ MORE

Eamon Ryan: I have it! I have it! What about Daft.ie?

Leo and Micheál, rolling their eyes: That one’s already taken, Eamon.

So they consult the Minister for Housing.

Darragh O’Brien barrels in, all business.

“Properly Daft.ie”

The three Coalition leaders are mightily impressed.

The Minister grins and shrugs modestly.

“Down there for dancin’ boys, wha!”

And off he goes to conduct a press conference in the crisp spring sunshine outside Government Buildings, where Mother Earth stretches towards the lengthening light and Young Greens stir from their winter slumber to call for a reversal of the decision.

The Dáil wasn’t due to start until 2pm on Tuesday but the plinth saw plenty of early action as shocked and angry Opposition TDs reacted to the Government’s resolve to fully terminate the ban on no-fault evictions. This was not surprising.

The Greens were getting restless. This was not surprising.

Dublin Central’s Neasa Hourigan was absolutely livid with her leader for acquiescing to the move and went on radio to say as much.

Then the party’s youth wing strongly objected in a statement sent to all the members of the parliamentary party. The baby Greens felt very “let down” by Eamon Ryan, who is obliged under party rules to “act as a focal point of inspiration and encouragement” to them.

“We would call on the party leader to reflect on his ability to fulfil these obligations.”

At the very least he’ll have to dance barefoot along Nassau Street again to regain their respect.

Government representatives selflessly didn’t fan out across the media to explain why the evictions ban was being discontinued without a properly formed set of measures in place to mitigate against the fallout. With Neasa going in off the deep end and Richard Boyd Barrett spontaneously combusting live on air, the Coalition sent in a big hitter to argue its case on Claire Byrne’s morning show.

None other than Waterford-based Fine Gael Senator John Cummins.

Meanwhile, Mick Barry of People Before Profit excoriated the Government for “warming the hearts of corporate landlords and the vulture funds” with its “reckless” action.

He had a message for all those people who will, most likely, have nowhere to live once the evictions ban lifts on April 1st.

“Don’t just walk away from your property,” he cried from the plinth. “Stand your ground. Refuse to go. You can overhold.”

In the Dáil, Leo Varadkar made no attempt to talk up the agreement reached between the three leaders of the veg-and-two-meat Coalition late on Monday night, rubber-stamped with begrudging unanimity by the Cabinet on Tuesday morning. He knows that ending the evictions ban at the end of the month will lead to renters losing their homes.

His argument was that acting sooner may increase the housing problem in the short-term but the situation will improve more quickly in the medium to long-term as private landlords feel confident returning to the market. At best, his Cabinet went for the least-worst option.

“There are pros and cons,” he admitted.

“There is no pro to being in emergency accommodation, sleeping in a tent or having to bring your children to a Garda station,” shot back Sinn Féin’s Eoin Ó Broin, on stand-in duty for Mary Lou McDonald, who was attending the funeral of former IRA woman and veteran republican Rita O’Hare.

This was a lucky break for Leo as Mary Lou would have eaten him alive. While Eoin may be cherished within his party as an expert on the housing crisis, with even a book or two under his belt on the subject, he represents the genteel wing of soft-spoken republicanism.

But he couldn’t resist a gentle savage of the Government’s soft Green underbelly. Once again Fianna Fáil and Fine Gael had abandoned renters. “And NOW the Green Party!” whose leader had just been accused by his own party colleague of abandoning the party’s policies on housing.

The Opposition wasn’t going to cut the Government any slack. “Taoiseach, it’s actually unbearable sitting here listening to you try to defend the indefensible,” fumed Holly Cairns, astonished at the Coalition opting to lift an evictions ban in the middle of a housing emergency.

Holly is new in the job. She’ll get used to the unbearable.

Back outside, the Minister for Housing was being almost as candid at the Taoiseach. Allowing for the return of no-fault evictions may very well increase homelessness, conceded Darragh O’Brien. But the ban didn’t do anything to increase the supply of rental properties and only served to frighten landlords out of the business. However, a raft of alleviation measures is in the pipeline once the legislation is ready.

A daft raft? Renters who get a notice to quit will have first dibs on the purchase of the house if the owner is selling. That should work a treat. The Government will even chip in with a few bob if they can’t manage to fund the purchase.

But if that doesn’t work then the landlord/lady will offer their house to an approved housing body “at a fair price”. That should work a treat too.

Properly comforting to the tenants waiting for their landlord/lady to reissue their eviction notice.

Champagne corks are popping down the Law Library.

Properly daft.ie