This time of year it can be risky for a man to pick up a newspaper, there being a good chance that therein he will find himself defamed.
The run-up to Christmas is when women's aid groups make their big push for funding. Thus, the candle-light vigil in memory of "women killed by men" or "women killed as a result of domestic violence" is a set-piece of what laughably passes for journalism. The number of such female victims - usually about a quarter of murders in the selected period - is underlined by way of accusing men in general of complicity in often unspeakable crimes. The other three-quarters of the statistical dead, being males, are airbrushed out. The not-so subliminal messages include: only women are murdered; only men murder women; "domestic violence" is coterminous with "violence against women"; such violence is intrinsic to "patriarchal society": all men are guilty.
Because we exist in an ideological bubble, this can seem a naturalistic presentation of reality. But imagine a vigil commemorating Irishmen killed by Poles and you may begin to perceive something warped in such rituals.
It may seem that what is being invoked is public compassion, but this is just a tiny element. Really, the qualities that are being worked are male guilt and female grievance, insinuated over decades by propaganda, now tapped once more to ensure that, whether by budgetary allocation or private donation, the coffers of feminist organisations remain full.
The repeated, uncritical publicising of these carnivals of divisive mendacity amounts to media corruption by ideology. Some years ago, having addressed this matter repeatedly, I was warned that I was rendering myself unemployable. I backed off, partly in the hope that other voices might fill the vacuum.
The truth comes dropping slow, but it comes dropping anyhow.
I knew Jackie Hayden years ago when we both worked for Hot Press, he as general manager, I as journalist. We remained on friendly terms, though recently our relationship reduced to nods in the street.
Hayden had become immersed in working with victims of rape and domestic violence and had, in my view, become one of the most enthusiastic architects of the dysfunctional culture described above.
He has now written a book, A Man in a Woman's World, microscopically examining his involvement in these issues, which makes me ashamed of my rush-to-judgment.
Hayden was the first man to hold a senior position in the Irish Rape Crisis Network. For eight years, until last year, he sat on the management committee of Wexford Rape Crisis Centre, serving four years as chairman. In A Man in a Woman's World, he reiterates his unquestionable commitment to defending women and children against violence, but also describes his growing sense that this is not the whole story.
Hayden tells of his disquiet at the level of anti-male sexism and hostility he encountered within the rape crisis and women's aid networks. Somewhat typical of his and my generation, he describes growing up in the rock 'n' roll counter-culture and being easily persuaded that sexism against women was wrong and violence against women utterly unacceptable. But, in the trenches with feminist activists, he found the dream gradually unravelling. Conditioned by feminism to avoid any form of sexism, he found himself "confronted with sexism almost at every turn". Many women he worked with "revealed themselves as harbouring a cynicism about men in general that was profound and far-reaching".
A Man in a Woman's World, published jointly by Killynon House Books and Hot Press Books, is an inspirationally honest, thoughtful and courageous book, written in sorrow. Hayden writes: "It's as if there is a deep-seated desire to propagate the myth that women are inherently non-violent, and that all of the violence that occurs between men and women is inflicted by men. Clearly this is not true. There are women who are extremely abusive and violent towards their male partners. What is the difficulty acknowledging this? I can't understand what it might be, but I became increasingly aware that it was there. Within the rape crisis network, it has become acceptable to deal with women or men who have experienced violence - provided the perpetrators of the violence are men. If the perpetrators of the violence are believed to be women, there seems to be a conspiracy to pretend it doesn't happen and to discredit those who are active in attempting to highlight it. It isn't a belief that is universally held among the women I worked alongside or spoke to, but it does seem to be the general policy."
A Man in a Woman's World is packed with forms of common sense that are rarely permitted to breathe their names. It is the story of a man with the highest human ideals, who found his idealism throttled by the cynicism he encountered. Those who labour in these inhospitable times to promote truth between men and women should welcome Jackie Hayden's testimony as the first platoon of cavalry appearing over the hill.