OPINION:What is it about our boys that makes the hard exam slog so very unattractive to them?
AN OLD friend has just messaged me his ultimate nightmare: “I have to resit the Leaving.” Piece of cake, says I, try having your eldest start his first big exams.
Ah, but it’s only the Junior Cert, I’m told by many, the heir himself included. “Only” doesn’t cut it, not, if like one of the couple of hundred thousand parents, you have exam mammyitus or worried daddy syndrome – although many males wouldn’t be offended if I add that they are less likely to suffer from the more extreme female versions.
They can’t eat, fitful sleep, butterfly tummy, relentless lists checking; watch, blue pens, scientific calculator, ruler. . . it’s endless.
If only I had Brian Mooney, career guidance counsellor and educational columnist in this paper, on speed dial. Those calming, reassuring words on radio the other day: “Be positive, no point in cramming, take physical exercise, read the questions several times.”
Ah yes Brian, all well and good; trouble is, it’s not me doing the bloody exam.
The neighbour’s child got six As and four Bs last year and when I mention it (I know comparisons are odious but I’m an Irish mammy, I can’t help it), the heir shrugs: “But she’s a girl, it’s what girls do,” as he sidles out the door with a football under his oxter.
Other friends have taken to calling their son “the scholar”. The scholar is so dedicated to studious attainment that he is snoring his head off in the bed at 11am the day before the exams.
No doubt he’ll go far. At least the stress won’t get to him. Similar stories come from many other parents. A grind teacher tells me the girls come in knowing exactly what questions they want to go over, while the boys look around in bewilderment when she inquires as to their study needs.
A father of twin girls tells me he has to drag his two away from the books. Not only are they ridiculously clever but they are also incredibly focused and driven.
What is it about many of our boys that makes the hard slog so very unattractive to them, that encourages boys to tease and even stigmatise their swottier peers? And what is it about our girls that makes them relish educational achievement?
In girls schools, exam success is mega; the cool girls are the brainy girls. There seems to be a recognition and celebration of academic excellence. For the boys, it’s as if its just not on to be seen to be trying too hard.
Caroline Garrett, deputy head of Oatlands Boys secondary school in Stillorgan, Co Dublin, says the general consensus is perhaps slightly off. Maybe we aren’t giving the boys enough credit?
“Boys study in different ways, in short, sharp bursts. They have amazing skill in discerning what is necessary to study. They are also much more calculating in their answers and far less likely to waffle.”
Garrett maintains that the way boys operate at second level is what is actually required for third level and young men do succeed once they reach third level.
“However, for the duration of the exams, boys need extra love, support and encouragement. The girls search out each other, whereas boys don’t share as much.”
The thing is, boys do get there in the end. It hardly needs stating that most company board members are men, as are top professionals in medicine, law, media, politics and the Civil Service. Quota calls for men in the so-called caring professions are fair enough but on the other hand, there have been ructions over the success rate of female students into the higher medical and legal industries, traditionally male-dominated areas.
As a mother, Garrett tells me she never gets used to it, the horribly stressful time that is exam season. No matter how many kids you have, it’s a rollercoaster ride every time.