Once I put that wig on, I didn't say an intelligent thing for four months.
- Sigourney Weaver, American actress, of the blond wig she wore for her latest role
It would be like waiting for a camel to win the Aga Khan [Cup].
- Eddie Hobbs, Consumers' Association, on the chances of the major financial institutions lending to low-income families
I'm going to have a bit of fun, and lead a normal life.
- Denis O'Brien, asked what he'd do with the £300 million he stands to make from the planned takeover of Esat by British Telecom
These are crazy people.
- David Ervine, PUP, on the murderers of reputed UVF mid-Ulster commander Richard Jameson
These people have bitten off more than they can chew . . . The people who did this will be wiped out completely.
- A UVF associate of the murdered man
A key element of the Belfast Agreement was an end to violence for good, and we must never differentiate between so-called internal housekeeping and the murder of members of the public and the security forces.
- Andrew MacKay, Conservative spokesman on Northern Ireland, of Mr Jameson's murder
The whole point is to get the weapons out of the hands of the paramilitaries. . . It is an irrelevance in a sense what happens to them thereafter.
- Ken Maginnis, UUP security spokesman, of a scheme that would allow IRA armaments to be secured in bunkers and open to inspection
It is my view with certainty that the entire thing [the Belfast Agreement] will fall apart.
- The Taoiseach, Mr Ahern, asked what would happen if decommissioning did not take place by May
I intend to do the exact same policies I have long articulated, and whether that upsets or pleases the people we will know when we face the electorate.
- The Minister for Finance, Charlie McCreevy
A carving knife was stuck in my spleen as a teenager. A bullet just missed my head and I went to jail maybe four or five times.
- Julius Francis, on why he's not afraid of Mike Tyson, whom he is due to fight later this month
I deeply regret doing what I was sent to prison for. I have served my time. I want to put it all behind me and live my life.
- Gary Glitter, after his release from a jail sentence for possessing child pornography
This certainly was not a victimless crime. Children as young as five are subjected to serious sexual assaults, including rape, to produce the foul material he wanted to look at.
- The National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children in Britain, of Glitter
In the last few days there is good reason to suspect clinically that we are on the threshold of an epidemic, if we are not already in the midst of one.
- Dr Cormac McNamara, Irish Medical Organisation, of the viral illness sweeping the country
When Gen Pinochet next appears in Chile reviewing the troops without a walking stick, then Jack Straw will realise he has made the wrong decision.
- Joan Garces, a Chilean lawyer, of Britain's ruling that Pinochet in medically unfit to stand trial in Spain