Madam, – Your articles in the Stories of Suicide series (Carl O’Brien, November 13th-20th) are truly heart-wrenching. It is the cold truth, but a real eye-opener as to the state of the health system for emergencies for mental health issues.
I have struggled with DSH (deliberate self harm) since I was 16. It is a coping method for words I cannot speak. It helps cope with true internal anguish, self-hate and many ordeals I have gone through from childhood to adulthood. I am 24 now. Since April I felt like this torment was never going to leave, I would never be able to get over certain situations and I felt all the pain rising beyond my control. Over the next few months I tried coping by myself. I didn’t want anyone to know what was going on, as I felt so ashamed. In August the feelings got worse. I started taking days off from work and contemplating suicide. I would sit there with knives and razors lined up on the table. Something snapped inside, asking “What am I doing?”. I texted my boyfriend and he immediately came home from work.
I went to a GP in Clondalkin and explained my thoughts and I asked fro help. I was referred me to the Mental Health clinic in Clondalkin village. The only problem here was that it took three weeks! In those three weeks I went drastically downhill in a spiral of self-hate, self-harm and going over memories I had repressed for a long time.
When I met the psychiatrist in the mental health clinic in Clondalkin they spent three hours of going through my thoughts and situations that were affecting me and referred me to Pieta House (centre for the prevention of self- harm and suicide). I contacted Pieta House and straight away they wanted me to come in and meet the founder (director) to have a quick chat and set me up with a therapist.
Even though the therapy sessions are hard, they well and truly are saving my life. They do not judge, they do not force opinions, they listen and give you a helping hand when you need one. The staff there are angels..
Self-harm is a very hard thing to deal with. It was my way of coping when no one was there. Now I have people who are there for me. I was scared my friends would judge me, but they have been nothing but supportive and make sure I get to Pieta House each week.
For anyone struggling with self- harm or suicide: you are not alone. There are services and you should turn to people if you are feeling low.
I didn’t turn to people in time, I ended up in hospital for DSH and infections in my arm due to cutting. Your life is worth more, no matter what anyone has done to you. If you have been misused, physically, sexually or mentally abused, there is hope for you. You have to speak up to be heard. – Yours, etc,
Madam, – Your Letters page highlights very clearly how the people most in need of help from the State continue to suffer and sadly many have already been lost.
Carl O’Brien’s excellent journalism (Stories of Suicide series) not only highlights the inadequacies but has succeeded in conveying the pain, frustration and lack of hope experienced by so many people and this at a time while millions was spent on glossy reports, all gathering dust.
We in Trust have been involved in working with people who are homeless for over 35 years and, despite the so-called Celtic Tiger, have witnessed the results of the running down of services through many of the people who come to our door every day. We are back to where we where when Trust was set up in 1975.
Writing to the Minister for Health in 1985 we referred to “the totally inadequate, unimaginative approach to services . . . In dealing with people so damaged, so often by our many institutions and that only long-term commitment from people free enough to search for the human being beneath the labels can help”. Alas, it has now been left to the Irish Times’s Carl O’Brien to highlight this issue, at a time when more and more people are becoming depressed and disillusioned. It is incumbent on those with responsibility to plan and deliver services to take heed and not hide behind highly-paid spin doctors, glossy reports and experts full of jargon. The Irish Times series should be mandatory reading for all concerned about how people are living in these troubling times. – Yours, etc,