Those of us who have the great good fortune to put our lives regularly at risk on the Naas dual-carriageway have long been wondering what the Garda Siochana has been doing and where it has been doing it; because whatever it was, it certainly wasn't policing that lunatic-governed piece of road.
Now we know. The Garda, to judge by a recent court appearance, has been been deployed in the hunt for adults engaging in consensual, commercially driven and victim-free sexual behaviour. To which all those who think that the duty of the Garda Siochana is to behave as a morality police will joyfully cry: "Wizard." The rest of us - not least the parents of all those girls saved by a divine providence who toils, thank God, independently of those who run our roads - might not be so cheery.
I make no comment upon any cases currently before the courts; I merely draw your attention to the state of the law. And I admit, the law is the law; but then we must add: sort of. So, yes, it is illegal to live off "immoral earnings": but why is that law being enforced at all? Why has it not joined the laws upon failure to suppress ragwort or docks, or the failure to muzzle certain types of dogs in public places, in that broad bin marked Unused, Redundant & Silly?
Morality laws
Presumably it is beyond the decision-making powers of the ninnies in Dail Eireann to change our morality laws to accord with actual realities. They prefer the Victorian Virtual Morality option, where with laser-imagery and a suitable soundtrack, it is possible to create an imaginary world without vice. These are the people who a few years ago traded in the ludicrous, unapplied and inapplicable law outlawing male homosexual acts for a new morality law making it illegal for men to kerb-crawl in areas where prostitutes loiter. This not merely kept the busybodies and the sexual prudes happy; it also kept feminist punishment-freaks happy as well. Nothing quite like the thought of men being publicly shamed. Yummy.
There is a simple solution to the "problem" of prostitution. Cease calling it a problem. Decriminalise it. Let adults choose to do with adults what they will. Use planning laws to confine their activities to certain areas - preferably rundown ones such as Sorrento Terrace in Dalkey. Insist on the prostitutes having medical checks, and protect them from exploitation by ruthless policing of the brothels and their managers.
Political courage
It's that simple; it just takes a bit of political courage, that's all. Instead, we opted for the parity-of-punishment route. But in that route, as with wife-beating or child abuse, for a man to be charged is for him to be found guilty in the public eye. How interesting that RTE News chose recently to show old Crimeline footage featuring a particular garda to accompany a news item of that same garda being charged with kerb-crawling. Is this to be standard penalty for helping make Crimeline: old footage will be used against you whenever possible? And are gardai and their families no longer entitled to the respect that RTE programme-makers would demand for ourselves in such sensitive situations?
The parity-of-punishment route keeps feminists happy for two reasons. Whereas they demand the right for women to do with their bodies what the women themselves want, what feminists actually want is for women to do with their bodies what they, the feminists, want. What is more subversive of the entire feminist canon than that these women choose to "degrade" themselves by selling sex to the enemy? To make such activity beyond the law is clearly insupportable. So whistle up Plan B. Punish the men as well; and maybe wreck a few marriages into the bargain.
It might have been different if the prostitutes had a lobby as powerful and as corrupting of the body politic as the publicans, who have devised ludicrous laws which restrict competition and distort fair trade into an absurd parody. But they do not. They are weak and marginalised and are therefore fair game.
Scandal
So are we now to see the resources of the Garda Siochana deployed in the hunt for Mandy Likes a Good Time, or Lovely Lulu Loves It Doggy-Style? Meanwhile, on our virtually unpoliced roads, we are already on the receiving end of a drip-feed massacre; soon we will receive it in a single large instalment. We nearly did the other day, on the main road into Dublin. The Naas road is a homicidal scandal, and to be sure, its deficiencies are only in part the responsibility of the Garda. Any busy dual-carriageway which permits U-turns through little breaks in the islands and allows cars from feeder roads to turn right onto it, crossing the path of oncoming traffic and without benefit of lights or control of any kind, will be the scene soon of a catastrophe.
Do we care? Apparently not. The authorities seem to be happier deploying Garda officers in the hunt for Lash La Lou, the girl who knows how to whip up a good time, than they are in stopping death on the roads. So be it.