Dail sketch/ Frank McNally: Never mind the BMW region. Because of its strategic position in the middle of two byelection campaigns, the NCB (Naas/Navan Commuter Belt) region has become a major priority for infrastructural development.
The area's Objective One status is due for review on March 11th, but for now its needs are receiving much attention in the Dáil.
Trevor Sargent accused the Taoiseach of "foot-dragging" on a 2002 Fianna Fáil manifesto promise of a railway line to Navan. Mr Ahern agreed that such a line "makes sense" and said a feasibility study was under way on the first phase, to Dunboyne. But Mr Sargent was dismissive of his gradualism, and the debate degenerated into the traditional clash of transport ideologies between Trevor the Tank Engine and Bert the Builder.
"It's not Lego," snapped the latter. "When were you last on a train?" asked the former. Not even the byelection could secure a commitment to the line, with Mr Ahern saying that it would "hopefully" be built.
As all Christians and Curtis Mayfield fans know, there's a train to Jordan comin': "you don't need no baggage, you just get on board/All you need is faith to hear the diesels hummin'/You don't need no ticket, you just thank the Lord." Well, the train to Navan should be along sometime after that.
The BMW region did get a look in during Taoiseach's questions, when Mr Ahern was asked about his commitment to another line - the western rail corridor. Pat Rabbitte noted that various members of Government had made "positive noises" about it ("Puff, puff," quipped Fine Gael's Padraic McCormack). But since the viability of some of the towns involved was an issue, he wondered when they could expect the arrival of the Government's decentralisation programme.
Mr Ahern sounded like a railway station announcer as he conceded the plan had been delayed (leaves on the line, etc). But he insisted it was making progress, and had been divided into three "blocks". One block was moving "with the greatest speed". The second block was "down to a number of sites and locations". But the third block was "further back, and they haven't been able to advance it".
There are no trains to Cavan-Monaghan and, barring a sudden byelection, no plans for them either. So Caoimhghín Ó Caoláin was reduced to asking about broadband access for this corner of the BMW area. Specifically he wanted to know about the prospects for Clones and Castleblayney (a town where, not so long ago, broadband technology was a van carrying Big Tom and the Mainliners).
The Taoiseach said that up to 100 towns were now targeted for broadband. The programme "has been accelerated and is on track", he added, which is more than you could say for the Navan train.