It's Saturday morning and Ant and Dec are up to their usual trademark high jinks. Sitting between them on the SM:TV sofa is Shad Moss, aka the four-foot-nothing, 14-year-old rap superstar Lil Bow Wow, the latest addition to the history of child stars - his wee bonce boasting some serious cornrow braids. At four, Lil Bow Wow memorised the entire works of Niggas With Attitude. At six, he was discovered by Snoop Dog, mid-tour, when he was pulled out of the crowd and lifted up onto the stage. He may be the toast of US hip-hop - his debut album having gone double platinum across the Atlantic, wooing the likes of Madonna and Destiny's Child in the process - but he sits in silence, appearing uncomfortable in his surroundings, the creases under his eyes evidence of a hefty work schedule. But he's a star. That's what they do.
Most kids Shad's age save up their pocket money for months in anticipation of their next bike/scooter/Nintendo game. At his Mom's gaff in Columbia, Ohio, LBW happily settles for all of those, but with added basketball court and Jacuzzi. He's the envy of his friends. And his pre-pubescent fame has made him an idol to all the starry-eyed kids across the globe who swagger about in baggy sweats, rhyming into wooden spoons.
Aside from LBW, the sweeping wave of teen stardom has lately witnessed many fresh additions. Puff Daddy's gyrating Britney-inspired protegees Dream, aged 14-16, who recently smashed the US charts with their debut single, He Loves U Not, have schedules that, according to band member Ashley Poole, require them to "work like adults". The career of 11-year-old Daniel Radcliffe, soon-to-be star of the hyped Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone adaptation, almost met a premature demise when delayed filming ruffled white collars at his local education authority.
In contrast, 14-year-old pirouetting pin-up Jamie Bell has just skipped away with a Bafta for Billy Elliot, but has shrunk back from publicity so he can concentrate on school. Meanwhile, black Billie Piper wannabe Lisa Roxanne, also 14, has just been signed to Palm Pictures for a whopping £1 million. And then there's 15-year-old Charlotte Church, whose autobiography, Voice of an Angel (The Story So Far), is being published before she's even started plucking those eyebrows. It's obvious the girl hasn't lived.
The Fame Game. So many talented young players. But the pitfalls for young stars in later life are often overlooked, with all those involved blinded by the big bucks and shiny lights. However, it has been boo-hooed into the media spotlight via Michael Jackson's tissue-grabbing speech at the Oxford Union last month. "When I was young I wanted more than anything else to be a typical little boy, but fate had it otherwise," he snivelled.
Out of all the child stars the canon of popular culture has fired at us over the years, such as Drew Barrymore and Macaulay Culkin, right back to original screen darlings Lena Zavarone and Shirley Temple, Wacko Jacko has been most visibly mutated by fame's grip.
Lena may have died at 35, having developed an eating disorder at 13 after her agent told her she was "too fat" (she died weighing a hefty three-and-a-half stone), and Drew was snorting lines at 12 rather than writing them, but at least neither of them resorted to turning to the knife (hatchet, whatever) in such a bizarre pursuit to resemble fellow former nappy starlet Liz Taylor.
But Jacko's teary speech did highlight several points. The majority of kids thrown into the "fame" arena do suffer, their childhood development, emotional maturity and education being brutally disrupted. "We have found with most child stars that their journey into adulthood isn't successful," says Dr Michelle Elliott of British children's charity Kidscape. "Children need to be children, and that time being a child is invaluable."
Back in 1982, Birmingham boy band Musical Youth, aged 10-15, shot to stardom with their No 1 smash Pass the Dutchie. Three years later, interest plummeted and the band split. The eldest member, singer Dennis Seaton, now 34, recalls: "I had a breakdown - it was all going wrong and I felt empty inside . . . I felt like a failure, but luckily I managed to catch myself in time and start again." Dennis now runs a car rental company outside Birmingham. The others aren't so fortunate - bass player Patrick Waite died while awaiting a court appearance on drug charges in 1993. His brother Junior and Kelvin Grant both live at home with mum.
The cast of the US sitcom Diff'rent Strokes also crumbled when the series ended and their fame flame fizzled. Dana Plato (Kimberly) ended up working in a dry-cleaner's, overdosing on painkillers in 1999. Gary Coleman (Arnold), despite successfully suing his trust-fund-swindling parents and managers for $3.8m, now works as a security guard in an LA shopping centre.
Pushy parenting can also be damaging to a child's psyche. Frederick Waite, father of Patrick and founder of Musical Youth, was highly ambitious for his young sons, as was Joe Jackson. One only has to look at Michael to see what emotional (and physical) scars prevail.
Macaulay Culkin and Drew Barrymore separated from their manager parents. Drew, whose godfather is Steven Spielberg, barely remains on speaking terms with her mother after escaping from her clutches at 15. Macaulay quit acting at 14 and went back to school after a similar split with his father, only returning to theatre in the UK late last year in the sell-out show Madame Melville. A brave step for someone whose persona, to the outside world, will forever be associated with that smart alec brat in Home Alone.
"It's been hard for him, he will always have that brand on his shoulder," sympathises Mark Borkowski, Macaulay's UK publicist. Last year, Borkowski PR were approached by GQ, inviting Macaulay to their annual style awards. "They inquired whether he would need to bring a guardian," says Borkowski. "I just couldn't believe it - he's 20! It's amazing how people will always focus on you as that child star."
Over the last few years, the pre-adult thirst for fame has become ever more insatiable. Applications to the Sylvia Young Theatre School have tripled. Teen-read Bliss has seen sales rise since it relaunched last July, with its tag "the magazine that makes you famous". And in February, 13 million people tuned in to see the final five out of 3,000 hopefuls strike gold in Popstars.
If there's one glimmer of hope, maybe it's that new role models Hear'Say will act as a warning to the mounting horde of sparkly-eyed youngsters, with the intense media attention and brash succession of "exclusives" the band have endured being enough to make them rethink their ambitions. Exposure to fame is hard enough to deal with as an adult. Let the kids tra-la-la into their wooden spoons in peace.
Lil Bow Wow's debut album, Beware Of Dog, is released next week