'Belingered' Biffo relieved shutters are coming down

DÁIL SKETCH: A SHRED of comfort for the Taoiseach – no more Leaders’ Questions for two whole months.

DÁIL SKETCH:A SHRED of comfort for the Taoiseach – no more Leaders' Questions for two whole months.

Happy days.

Unless you are a member of the Opposition. Then it is most unacceptable that parliament should be shutting down tomorrow in the midst of a national economic crisis.

Oh, yes. A highly unsatisfactory and frustrating state of affairs, but what can a party leader do, apart from protest loudly? The Government holds the majority, and the majority is pulling down the shutters and mightily relieved to be doing so.

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In the process, it is forcing Opposition deputies to cut and run faster than their legs can carry them out the revolving doors of Leinster House and away from the daily grind.

Pity the poor Senators though. They have to stay for another week, and not only that, but they sat into the early hours of yesterday morning. Some of them could be found around Leinster House during the daylight hours, reliving their dark night of the soul. And not a word of thanks from anyone.

Nearly half past two before they adjourned. Half. Past. Two! You couldn’t imagine it. Deeply traumatised, yet very proud of themselves.

Back in the Dáil chamber – where they sat until ten to one in the morning and didn’t feel the need to play the old soldiers – Brian Cowen kept a tight rein on his temper and finally made it to freedom at lunchtime.

He may only be on temporary release, but it’s a welcome break.

It’s hard not to feel some sympathy for Biffo. To borrow a word from that great wordsmith Bertie Ahern, our “belingered” Taoiseach has had to operate in the face of an unrelenting barrage of criticism from the Opposition and a worrying resistance from the electorate to cost-cutting and revenue-raising measures.

A proposed €200 annual tax on mobile homes was dropped last week following protest on RTÉ's Liveline. The move was subsequently dubbed "The Joe Duffy Amendment" by Senator Eugene Regan, and it provided a perfect example of how the public isn't buying Biffo's brand of rectitude and how he doesn't appear to have the stomach to impose it. Limping towards the finishing line, the Taoiseach sounded rather hard done by as Enda Kenny offered to help him out with a few pointers and Eamon Gilmore excoriated him for dithering and delaying. A full year ago, Eamon recalled how a gung-ho Taoiseach promised his Government would take the necessary tough decisions to right our listing economy, implementing them as swiftly as possible.

Then “they came back in September in a panic and have stumbled from one crisis to the next.” Since then, he’s been holding back on the report of An Bord Snip and the establishment of Nama. Biffo glowered. “Not true. Not true.” If there is a problem, it’s down to the other side of the house. The Taoiseach has a plan, and a timeline to follow and he intends to stick with it. “But the fact is that there has been very little support from the Opposition.” (When did that ever stop any Government from getting things done?)

“You’ve a majority of your own – get on with it!” said Emmet Stagg.

A weary feeling permeated the place. Fine Gael’s Richard Bruton counted a little wad of €20 notes before placing them neatly in his wallet. Perhaps his dog won last night. It didn’t. (Richard owns a greyhound.) Maybe Richard is so worried about Biffo’s indecisiveness that he is amassing a running-away fund. However, we can tell you that his three-year-old dog has had some minor success on the track and goes by the name of “Topless Cubicle.” This is true.

Something to do with a revolutionary method of feeding dairy cattle that was invented by his late father, Joe Bruton.

We weren’t even thinking of drink until George Lee brought up the subject. He was exercised by a large advert he saw in a newspaper for “18 bottles of beer for €11.45 . . . 50 old pence is what it would be, you wouldn’t buy a bottle of water for that.” He was worried about young people having access to cheap alcohol.

On the press gallery, with the clock running down on a torrid Dáil term, reporters worried whether George would name the shop. He didn’t. Sadly.

In the afternoon – we didn’t see this ourselves – a large hearse drawn by four black-plumed horses drew up outside the Department of Finance in the afternoon and conveyed the report of An Bord Snip to its final resting place on Mr Lenihan’s desk.

How many Joe Duffy amendments lie within its covers? Will the Taoiseach have the guts to ignore them? And then, just to ruin any holiday feeling that might have been about, Micheál Martin and Dick Roche surfaced with details of Lisbon II – the return. A turbulent autumn lies ahead. Lucky, lucky Biffo. You’d have to feel sorry for him.

Miriam Lord

Miriam Lord

Miriam Lord is a colour writer and columnist with The Irish Times. She writes the Dáil Sketch, and her review of political happenings, Miriam Lord’s Week, appears every Saturday