Mary says that those alone need not be lonely

Eighty-eight-year-old Mary Clynch is living proof that an older person need not suffer from loneliness just because they live alone.

Speaking from her bungalow near the Co Meath village of Summerhill, she has some words of advice for any of her peers who may be succumbing to feelings of isolation.

"Get out, join a club, do not sit by the fire brooding. Do a bit of reading and make friends."

She acknowledges that many older people have health problems that limit their choices, but believes these are not the barriers they at first seem.

Indeed, Mary remembers her embarrassment the first time she was brought out in a wheelchair, but says she got over these feelings quickly. Reading and the radio provide her with great enjoyment at home, she says.

When her husband Dick died suddenly 12 years ago, it was the end of a 50-year friendship. He had worked as a butler on estates such as Luttrellstown and Dromoland and Mary had moved with him to each new post.

With no children, Mary suddenly found herself alone when he died one Christmas Eve. "He was my lifeline; we were absolutely inseparable. It really took the wind out of my sails and I thought I was finished for good."

Summerhill is noted for its active retirement group, however, and Mary was quickly drawn into its activities.

She became involved in setting up a helpline for older people, which still operates today (1850 440444). "They brought me back from the brink, my friends in these groups. They kept me alive."

In the early days of the helpline, she travelled around with others to promote the service, which took her mind off her bereavement.

"Now I'm so old, I'm not that involved, but I still man the phone for four hours on Mondays."

Like many older people, Mary relies on the telephone for much of her contact with the outside world. "There's practically never a knock on the door, and no-one to sit and chat with. But I understand that people have their own families to be busy with."

Her contacts with the health services are confined to a visit from the district nurse once a week.

Her niece provides one hour's home help each weekday, which is all right "at the moment".

While she spends her days at home, she passes the night at either of her two nephews' homes.

As for the future, she prefers not to think about it. "I'm happy with life now, but at almost 89, there isn't a hell of a lot to look forward to."