Losers, wimps hailed as `good guys'

A mountain, Galilee, A.D. 30: The preacher Jesus has denied that a programme he outlined yesterday is "a charter for losers". The criticism was levelled at him by a Pharisee who was among thousands at a rally Jesus held on a mountainside near Lake Galilee which was one of the most significant in his campaign.

Jesus strongly opposes the use of the word "campaign" in connection with his addresses throughout Palestine. It has annoyed him and his friends that media continue to do so, particularly the Moon tabloid which insists Jesus wants to be "King of the Jews".

It has also compared, unfavourably, some of Jesus's addresses with those of a suggested rival the tabloid has dubbed "the burning bush".

On the mountainside, as Jesus began denouncing the hypocrisy of Pharisees, a member of the sect challenged him. "We've heard all this already. We know who the bad guys are - us - but who are the good guys?"

Jesus replied: "Those who don't have much spirit; anyone who is grieving; the shy and retiring; whoever cares passionately about justice; whoever is gentle with the wrongdoer; whoever has an honest intention; peacemakers; and anyone who is persecuted for doing what is right."

"Ah, Jesus!", interjected the Pharisee, "Wimps? Losers? They're your good guys?"

They are "the salt of the earth", said Jesus, "the light of the world . . . a city on a hill that cannot be hidden."

"A poet, and he doesn't know it," mocked the Pharisee to the crowd, now enjoying the exchange. He then asked whether Jesus wanted to abolish the law of Moses.

Jesus said he was there to fulfil the law, not to abolish it. The Pharisee laughed. "The arrogance," he said. Jesus pointed at him and said: "I tell you that unless your goodness is more than that of your kind and the teachers of the law you will never get to heaven."

The Pharisee was angry. But Jesus was in full spate. "The law says `do not murder', but I tell you that whoever is even angry with someone will be judged harshly . . ."

Moving to the sixth commandment, he said: "You have heard it said, `don't commit adultery'. I am telling you that even if you look lustfully at another person you have already committed adultery." There was a murmur from the crowd. Some shouted at Jesus that he was crazy. The Pharisee said Jesus would be left with eunuchs and bloodless wonders as followers.

"If your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out," continued Jesus, "or your arm or any part of your body . . . cut it off and throw it away."

"Ouch," mocked the Pharisee, cupping his genitals. And the crowd laughed.

"Anyone who divorces, except for infidelity, causes the other partner to be an adulterer, and anyone who marries that other partner also becomes an adulterer," Jesus continued. People began to walk away.

"He's lost it," said the Pharisee, "He's finished."

But he wasn't. Jesus told them: "Don't swear by heaven or the earth or by God or by Jerusalem or by your head. Just let `yes' be yes, and `no' be no . . ."

"By God!" said the Pharisee. Jesus continued: "You've heard it said, `An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth', but I tell you if someone hits you in the face, turn the other cheek. Love your enemies. Pray for those who persecute you . . ."

"Lie down and let them walk all over you," interjected the Pharisee.

"Keep your good deeds private and when you pray keep that private too," said Jesus. "Keep it simple. Say something like `our father in heaven, that you may be praised; that your reign on earth will be the same as in heaven. Give us what we need today. Forgive us our wrongs, as we forgive those who wrong us. Help us avoid temptation and the devil.'

"Remember you can't serve God and money. Don't worry about the future. Tomorrow will look after itself. And don't judge people. Do to them what you would like to be done to yourself. Ask, and God will give to you. But beware of false prophets. You will know them by their fruits." And he had finished.

"Not a hope," commented the Pharisee. "He's going nowhere. It'll never catch on."