"If you don't do it now, you'll never do it." As soon as you dare to mention that you're contemplating chucking in your job to travel the world, this phrase will start to come at you from every conceivable source. Clearly, there is some sort of travel egg-timer which gives you a limited window of opportunity in which to pack up and don your hiking boots. You don't want to miss that window folks, because apparently, if you don't do it now, you'll never do it.
Thankfully, I've somehow managed to grasp that last grain of sand before it hit the bottom, and am off to see the world. As my friend and travelling companion, Tanja Raab, pointed out so graciously, I've got nothing to lose by leaving now: no house, no car, no children, no boyfriend. While her persuasive powers must be commended, it did leave me feeling as if I had no life. So I resolved, as the new millennium dawned, that this year I'd finally do what I'd been procrastinating about for most of my adult life - travel.
Once my decision was made to take such a trip, I wisely told as many people as I could about it as quickly as possible. That way, when I began to realise what exactly I'd let myself in for, and the sensible, safe side of my brain began to kick in, I was too embarrassed to backtrack. Envisioning myself as an intrepid adventurer off to discover distant lands was the easy part. Organising the logistics of such a trip was a little more difficult.
Thankfully Tanja is a highly organised individual who has travelled extensively before, so I'm banking on her limitless knowledge of the world entire to get me out of trouble when our Sherpa seeks constructive dismissal halfway across the Himalayas, or out of a Delhi jail when I've been arrested for failing to cover part of my anatomy in a place of worship.
For the would-be Phileas Fogg, there are limitless options of enticing "Round the World" tickets to choose from. But don't be fooled. My initial idea to encompass every continent and both poles for the bargain price of £1,000 didn't quite pan out as expected. Apparently, you can't just hop from Cape Horn to Alaska without adding to your ticket price, which clocks up alarmingly at every mile. And that doesn't include travel insurance, airport authority tax, departure taxes, and "airport facility charges", whatever they are.
It took all of three hours in Trailfinders for us to finally hit on a route which allowed us to include approximately 50 per cent of the places we wanted to see, for £1,200 - without travel insurance.
But before I get negative, let me outline my itinerary, just so you recognise the fact that, taxes included, it's still a bargain. For this paltry amount, we'll be travelling through India, Nepal (an overland addition, but nonetheless on the way), Singapore, Australia, New Zealand, Chile, Peru, Brazil, Dallas (a necessary stop on the way up the Americas), New York and back home. All to be done within 12 months. Jealous yet?
But before you rush out to buy your ticket, there are a few additional expenses you should be aware of. Travel equipment, for starters.
I have travelled before. I pride myself on my country-count, as a matter of fact. What I haven't done before is backpacked on a budget, and this, my friends, is where it all changes.
To be a budget traveller can actually end up costing you more than the five-star hotel alternative that you'd been sensibly eschewing. Walk into any camping shop with limited knowledge on the subject, and you will find that all sorts of gadgetry are not only helpful but essential to the backpacker. I was lucky to leave with only a brand new rucksack, sleeping bag, and day pack, but was only able to negotiate the exit once I'd promised to return for all the extras - hiking boots, a groundsheet, a portable cooker, a compass, a Swiss army knife, binoculars, mosquito nets, a money belt, a flashlight, eating utensils, trekking poles, insect repellent, a collapsible cup and the indispensable eye-shade and earplug set.
And then there are the diseases. Getting my various pre-travel vaccinations (another £100-odd, and that doesn't include malaria tablets) was enough to put a verging hypochondriac six-foot under. When you're hitting four continents in a matter of six months, there's no end to the illnesses on offer. Yellow fever, polio, typhoid, malaria, rabies, hepatitis - I'm not even going to begin on the symptoms, but believe me, there are horrors out there to put Conrad to shame.
But enough negativity. Now it's all goodbye parties, and fond farewells, and the interesting challenge of fitting 250 kilos of luggage into a 15 kilo bag.
I'm departing on Monday, first stop Delhi. I'll keep you posted.
roundtheworld@ireland.com