The Last Straw/Frank McNally: This might seem an odd time to raise it. But I was reminded of the problem while visiting Drumcree during the recent Northern elections.
So drawing on the peace and goodwill currently available, and the three-month window of calm before tensions rise again, I would like to appeal now for a negotiated settlement to the St Patrick's Day parades issue.
What I saw in Portadown has encouraged me that progress may be possible. The annual stand-off there has become a non-event in recent years. And apart from a "peace fence" erected along the community interface, there was no sign at all of the bitterness once caused by marches. Could this happen in Dublin, I dared to wonder? You're probably saying that there is no bitterness over the St Patrick's Day parade. But speak for yourself. I hate the St Patrick's Day parade. The drums, the marching bands, the street theatre - they're not part of my culture, whatever about yours.
In fact, the approach of March 17th always fills me with dread, and a sudden desire to fly somewhere foreign.
I'm all for tolerance. I don't mind marching bands as such: it's their drum-beating triumphalism I object to. And I accept that people from the Macnas tradition should be able to express themselves publicly. But their right to self-expression should not be at the expense of besieged communities, locked behind police lines for the day, and unable to go about their normal lives.
Again, you're probably saying this doesn't happen. But you should try working in The Irish Times on March 17th.
Everywhere you need to go - including, in my case, home - is the other side of the parade route, cut off by crowd-barriers, not to mention crowds, and the heavy security presence. You can't even have coffee in Bewley's. If you make it through the barriers, you're liable to get run over on Westmoreland Street by a giant inflatable sun.
The organisers will point to the numbers who turn up to "watch" as evidence of the parade's popularity. But for all the organisers know, most of these people could be just waiting patiently for a chance to cross the road. That's what I'm usually doing. And it doesn't help community relations when the bands pause frequently along the route, and play louder, to annoy us.
Of course, the whole St Patrick's Day marching thing is essentially an American idea. For years, Americans were the only people who voluntarily took part in the parade. The rest were employees of various companies, who were forced to pose in fancy dress on the backs of lorries: the commercial nature of their "floats" thinly disguised with coloured crêpe paper. Back then, the parade was like watching RTÉ. A bit of music, followed by an ad break, some low-budget drama, more ads, and so on.
The Americans weren't even disguised as floats, unless you counted brightly coloured raincoats. They just marched as themselves: talk about triumphalist! And the downtrodden locals were supposed to enjoy it while they paraded through our communities, smiling provocatively to remind us of their superior dental work.
I'm not a bigot. In fact, one year in the early 1990s, I marched with the Americans, in a genuine effort to understand where they were coming from (Kentucky, it turned out). I even donned their regalia - shamrock face stickers and everything - to try to enter the mindset. And by parade's end, I was getting into that whole great-day-for-the-Irish thing, waving at the crowds, and what not. Then I noticed the dour faces staring back, and I copped myself on.
Thankfully, with the Peace Process in the mid-1990s, the Americans agreed to stop marching through Dublin on St Patrick's Day. But instead of using this as an opportunity to re-route, the organisers replaced the former marchers with locals who were even more extrovert. Now everything about the parade is just bigger and louder, including the clothes.
But we must all be prepared - as Gerry Adams is forever saying - to move the situation forward. I know marching bands are never found wanting in this regard; not to be smart about it, forward is the only way they can move. And I believe there are grounds for a compromise in what happened two years ago when the foot-and-mouth crisis (fond memories!) forced the parade's postponement.
Then, the bands competition was held in Leopardstown. You couldn't hear a thing in Westmoreland Street - it was great. I have several similar ideas for the relocation of other aspects of the parade. We still have three months to work on these, and I'm sure we can reach a compromise in time for March 17th. Failing that, I want a peace fence.