Taking it out on parents

TVScope Dad BBC1, Thursday 8pm Dad, with its connotations of warmth and familiarity, was an informed choice as the title for…

TVScope Dad BBC1, Thursday 8pmDad, with its connotations of warmth and familiarity, was an informed choice as the title for this drama, which spearheaded Comic Relief's 2005 elder abuse campaign.

The first step in changing any behaviour is to create an awareness of its existence and the Comic Relief team chose the route of drama over documentary to do this.

In Dad they challenged our denial that while some old people may be abused, it could never be our dad or anyone we loved, and that certainly the abusers could never be anyone like us.

In Dad, Richard Briers, as the father Larry, and Kevin Whately, as his son Ollie, give a moving and believable portrayal of how a loving relationship can become an abusive one. The drama highlighted the harm caused by people who have a trusting relationship with the people they are hurting - spouses, children, in-laws, grandchildren, nurses and carers.

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While the drama's main story line was the abuse of Larry by Ollie, the disturbing subplot was the treatment of Larry's wife Jeannie, who has Alzheimer's disease, in a home. The 86-year-old Larry had managed to single-handedly care for Jeannie with great love and tenderness until he broke his ankle.

Jeannie had then to go into a home and Larry moved in with his son Ollie and daughter in-law Sandy. Ollie was a a loving son, husband and father, who found himself in the sandwich position of many middle aged people today. The bills from the home his mother was in added to the financial strain he was under from financing his daughter's beautician course.

When work pressures and daily humiliations in an unfulfilling dead-end job were added, we begin to understand how any of us under particular circumstances have the capacity to become abusive. Ollie's stress levels rose even more as Larry became increasingly angry with him for his refusal to defend his mother against the abuses Larry witnesses her experiencing in the home. Ollie sees no alternative to his mother being in the home and cannot allow himself to hear what his father is saying. Larry is left to take on the management of the home alone.

As Larry becomes increasingly desperate and demanding about Jeannie's plight, Ollie becomes increasingly stressed and we see how an older person can become the scapegoat for a carer's pent-up anger and frustration. He begins by just shouting at his father, but he then physically shakes him.

He is ashamed and sorry after this outburst and tries to make it up to his father. As the stress from his work increases he eventually cracks again and lashes out at Larry, this time bashing him violently with his briefcase. Larry is left with no-one to turn to. Who can any elderly person turn to when those closest to them become their abusers rather than their protectors?

Dad certainly achieved its awareness-raising objective, which is important given that it is estimated that one in 20 older people are victims of some form of abuse. Elder abuse is an extremely sensitive and upsetting issue, but if we are to protect the real life Larrys and Jeannies, it is one we must face up to.

For more information: www.rednosedaycom/wherethe

moneygoes/elderabuse.shtml

Olive Travers is a clinical psychologist working in the north west.