Mind Moves:When confronted about his absence from work, a young apprentice responded with a fantastic story about where he'd been, writes Tony Bates
His boss didn't believe him and accused him of being "the greatest chancer" he'd ever met. The apprentice pleaded his innocence, saying, "I don't tell lies, sir, I only lie when the truth doesn't fit."
We live in a world that is full of lies and half-truths, and it is impossible at times to know what is real and what is false. We don't know how much of what Bertie is saying is true; we don't know if Opposition leaders are really concerned to uphold moral standards in political life, or whether they're simply scoring points by taking cheap shots at the Taoiseach every time they get the chance.
Barack Obama seems to speak the truth and people are warming to him because he has done so - even when it didn't suit his political agenda. Hillary Clinton is competent but she seems to change her pitch depending on what her advisers tell her people want to hear. What a confusing world we live in; what a tangled web we weave.
In our personal lives it can be hard to speak the truth. We may embellish the truth a little to enhance our impact on others, to spare them pain or simply because the time is not right. But when we lie and the only audience is ourselves, we get into real trouble.
Lies lock us into places of tension in our bodies. We may lie to place ourselves beyond reproach of others, but the price we pay is diminished self-worth.
We might lie to protect our relationship with others, but discover to our cost that without truth, intimacy soon becomes a sham that slowly suffocates us.
Every time we speak what we like to believe are only "white lies" we weaken bonds of friendship and intimacy until the threads of our connection with another become so thin that they break. And we wake up one day to find we've each become objects in each other's lives, circling one another in strained politeness, confused about where all that passion and vitality have gone.
Why is it so hard to speak the truth? Maybe it's because we never stop for long enough to know what is true for us at any given moment in our lives. We fear that were we to do so, everything would fall apart. To be honest with ourselves involves risk. We may have to bring what has been hidden into the light of consciousness. And it can take time to do this, especially if we've spent years tying ourselves up in knots to protect the "status quo".
In opening ourselves to seeing who we really are, we may discover initially that there is deep sadness in us. We may experience how much we have been lost to ourselves, perhaps for a long time, and how exhausted we are by the effort to present an image of ourselves to others that they have come to expect.
But when we are honest with ourselves, we also begin to feel more real, more grounded and more connected with the energies of our bodies.
Our initial shock gives way to a sense of freedom. Honesty is the beginning of personal liberation. Muscles deep inside us that have been knotted for years in a spasm of tension begin to relax. Our chest opens and we are able to breathe again. The fog of confusion begins to clear and we see the road ahead that is right for us.
Try this for yourself. Find a quiet moment to stop and allow yourself to listen to what is true for you today. What truth do you need to hear about your body? What truth in your mind is asking to be acknowledged?
However trivial it may seem, try tuning in. Be aware that one of the more frequent ways we avoid facing the truth is by dismissing our gut feelings about something in our lives as "stupid" or "irrelevant".
And finally, think about the truth you need to wake up to in your relationships with others. Maybe there is something you need to say to another. Something that has bothered you, however much you might wish to deny this to be the case.
You may need to say or do something to restore your connection with someone in your life, or to reinstate an appropriate boundary between you that they have violated.
Whatever truth presents itself, hold it for a time in your awareness. Allow yourself to see what is true for you and with clarity and compassion, think about how best you can honour this truth in your life, now.
Knowing what's true for you means knowing who you are and what matters to you most. Ultimately this is what allows you to live freely, to choose wisely and to enjoy genuine closeness with others.