LIKE everything else in Irish culture, the character of the wake is changing too. No longer is anaesthetising oneself with alcohol seen as appropriate mourning behaviour. Mourners are more likely to stand around politely eating a fork dinner or supper with a glass or two of wine to sustain them. And if any drink runs out, it's more likely to be the mineral water than the whiskey.
When Dublin caterers, The Portable Food Company, got their first funeral call, they thought it was a hoax. The young woman said her elderly mother would be dying in about three weeks and that she would like to organise a party to be held, rather unusually, before the burial. Chef Eamonn Slater soon realised, however, that the woman was serious. She was determined to follow the instructions of the actual hostess of the party, the woman who was to die.
And the party was indeed a splendid and dignified affair.
The funeral catering business has been booming ever since for Eamonn and his business partner Bryon Yore, as word of mouth has spread the news of their "discreet and sympathetic service".
"Normally the meal is after the burial when people have been standing around freezing, first outside the church and then again in the cemetery," says Bryon. "When they return to the house, people love being handed a warm bowl of soup or a warming casserole.
The irony is that while families arranging funerals want to provide a warm, welcoming atmosphere in their homes, they do not have the time to prepare it personally. "People are so busy today, they cannot take three days out of their lives to cook and entertain as well as grieve. They have to condense it all into one day and you can't be cooking and grieving at the same time," Bryon says.
Because people are not drinking as much alcohol at funerals as they once did, a glass or two of wine is all most people will take and it's common to send a case or two back to the supplier. One reason is that people are drinking less in general, but another is that life goes on all too quickly for the mourners, who may have to leave the funeral gathering for work or the school run.
The trend for having the post funeral reception lavishly catered with good food instead of the traditional trays of sandwiches and bottles of whiskey hasn't just been the experience of the Portable Food Company. Many other caterers also report increases of as much as 100 per cent in funeral business over the past 18 months. The days when neighbours pitched in with plates of food are fading fast. Our increasing social mobility means the people to whom we are closest may live at the other end of the country - if not the world.
People may not have the time or even the dishes and cutlery required to prepare and serve food to large numbers of people in their home, yet they both want and feel obligated to warmly welcome mourners into their homes.
"People think that hotels are slightly impersonal," believes David Young of First Class Catering in Dublin, who has seen his funeral business double in the past year. "We've become a society where there's so much going on that we don't have the time to cater for guests. People are having their lives catered, from christenings to funerals. People want the personal touch of the home but they don't want the hassle."
Like many caterers, he is often called in at short notice for a two day stint during which he provides soup and sandwiches on the evening of the removal, then a buffet the next day for 100-150 people.
Kay Cab all of Caragh Catering in Limerick observes that funerals have lost none of their warmth, just because they are catered. A widow might say to her, "I want the best of everything because he loved his food".
"Often I will overhear snippets of conversation, such as `he would have loved to have been here himself'; and `we don't see each other often enough,'" says Kay Caball. Because they are not worrying about providing food for people, family members have time to talk with the other mourners about the deceased. "A lot of genuine mourning goes on," Kay says.
It's not unusual for people to contact Kay before the death has taken place. "People are very upset when they call and they feel guilty planning it when the person is not dead. But they are really doing it as much to please the dead person ... Catering can be wholesome and practical for the bereaved too, since there are usually left overs which can be served to visitors the day after the funeral or which Kay will put in her client's freezer for those nights when they are feeling too tired to cook.
The cost of catering a funeral depends, like any other function, on the menu and the number of people being served. Among various caterers, prices range from £5 or £6 a head for soup and sandwiches with tea and cakes, to £10-£25 a head for a buffet, including staff to do all the preparation, serving and cleaning up. You can spend more or less, but the average cost quoted for a good hot buffet with two choices of main course, salads, breads and desserts is about £15.
Few people bother with a full bar staffed by a bartender, but those who do, can expect to pay £3 to £10 per head, depending on the alcohol consumption of the mourners.
"The tradition of `getting skulled' at the wake is gone. It's far more civilised now with a glass or two of wine," says Karl Monaghan of KM catering, Dublin. He observes that families who travel a long distance to the funeral appreciate a "substantial repast" afterwards and have higher expectations than they used to of the meal.
For Karl, funerals area "lucrative business" at a cost of £2,500-£3,000 for a funeral. High status, corporate clients might bring the caterers in before the removal and may keep them on for three days, providing meals and full bar facilities. This would include preremoval afternoon tea, post removal tea with soup, sandwiches, cake and full bar (£4.50-£5.95 a person plus bar costs). The next day, there could be 200 people back at the house for a huge hot and cold buffet (£12.95-£25 a person). The bar alone could run to £10 a head. And it's not unheard for the body to lie benevolently in the coffin, while people all around enjoy the deceased's hospitality.
Tom Berry of Berry Catering in Dublin, who has seen a 50 per cent rise in funeral catering, says that because of emigration, families are scattered all over the world so that they have no infrastructure back in Ireland to deal with the funeral situation yet they have high expectations for elaborate, well presented food.
Religious orders, too, are experiencing an ageing of their populations so there are few young people left to prepare a funeral feast. He says that when hiring a caterer, "the nuns go for the full sit down dinner served on the premises". And unlike most of us, they have the necessary large dining rooms and tables.
As much as people may like to entertain at home, this is not always possible, especially when all of a deceased's surviving children live abroad. They may be affluent yet have no Irish base at which to hold a catered funeral reception. This is the portion of the funeral market which Fitzpatrick's Hotel in Killiney, Co Dublin is targeting with its special "funeral menu" costing from £15 to £25 a head.
It's not only the affluent who are making such arrangements. Brian Lawlor of Bolger Catering in Tallaght has catered several receptions in local GAA clubs and halls, since most houses are too small for such large gatherings. In a club setting, Bolger Catering offers soup, tea and sandwiches at £3.50 a head, while the full bar is handled by the football club. Brian says "you can't call a funeral a social event, but there's no doubt that people seem to be enjoying themselves all the more. They drink and eat and stay all day. It's a day out. A chance to get a day off work."
THE Irish wake has undoubtedly changed but there has been no decline in the traditional Irish sense of celebration of the deceased's rich life. As one caterer put it, "From what I've observed, I'd say our parties have saved many a client from having to go to bereavement counselling afterwards."