Having whizzed by The Forge restaurant in Collon, Co Louth, on numerous occasions on the way further north, it was good to get out of the car in this curious village and stay put for a while. Collon has to have one of the busiest through-roads in Ireland. The traffic is pure murder - so much so that, having pulled over to the side of the road outside The Forge, I didn't dare get out of the car for about five minutes because of the trucks roaring down the ski run from Slane. It must once have been a very pretty place with its wide main street and Georgian terraces. A beautiful stone font outside the restaurant was a gift from a vicar back in the 1600s. Amazing that it hasn't been removed to sit in some super pub or millionaire's garden.
How relaxing can it be to eat in a restaurant with juggernauts passing every few minutes? You have to wonder - but the answer is that you don't notice it once you are inside. Maybe the walls are 2 ft thick, as you'd expect in an old smithy, and the windows are miniscule, but the overall effect is surprisingly peaceful, if not instantly warm and welcoming.
I sailed into the virtually empty restaurant, looking for my guests. A waitress told me that you have to start upstairs. Up I went, into a comfortable gallery area where you can have your pre-dinner drinks and look down on the restaurant below.
I sat at the first available table and waited and waited. A nervous-looking boy in a dicky bow was rushing around with drinks orders, and one of the owners was talking into the phone, explaining in an amazingly deadpan voice that, no, they couldn't have a table for that number of people on such and such a night in November. This conversation went on for some time in the same polite monotone and, finally, he got the message across. The Forge is not somewhere you can go with a huge crowd for a noisy knees-up.
This was all very interesting but it wasn't doing me any good. It's always a bit uncomfortable to be the first to arrive in a strange restaurant, far from home, and it wasn't helped by the number of locals there who seemed to be on first-name terms with everyone and ordering champagne galore. I sat on a low chair feeling particularly prim and spinstery, as though I was waiting to be interviewed for a kitchen job, and wishing I hadn't given up smoking. Finally, after what seemed about an hour but was only eight minutes, Frank and Marie arrived and things improved immediately. Frank, who is big and confident and local, led the way to a comfortable corner sofa, menus were produced and drinks ordered. I needed a stiff drink after the drive and the general froideur, but couldn't have anything too mindnumbing since I had to drive all the way home again. That's all the griping over with. Apart from the cool reception you might get as an out-of-towner, this is a very good place, and perfect for a stopover. The food is surprisingly diverse and very good, and the service is extremely gentle and soothing.
There is nothing new or fancy about it, however. It has been there for many year and has a fiercely loyal following in Louth and Meath. One of the owners came to take our orders and pulled up a chair in a rather intimate fashion which, given that he had hardly said hello previously, was a bit unsettling.
There's a decent set menu that sounds just as interesting as the a la carte choices, and there is not much of a price difference between the two options. Set dinner is £27 a head but the first thing that caught all our eyes was the Annagassan crab claws on the a la carte menu. "Have the crab claws," said Frank. "If they come from Annagassan then they are from Yogi's and will be beautiful."
Annagassan, if you don't know, is a little harbour between Clogher Head and Blackrock that is about to take off as a holiday destination, according to Frank, who's involved in property. Yogi handles the best fish on the coast, according to Frank, and exports much of it to more exotic restaurants in Japan and the States. So, we were lucky to get it. The smoked salmon was from Yogi's too, so I had it instead, leaving Frank to the crab claws. After one drink and a quick look at the paintings on the walls (they're for sale - lots of still lives of window sills and vases of flowers), we went downstairs to our table. We were placed rather too close to a couple who were clasping hands and drinking champagne so we couldn't look left for most of the evening.
One of the nice things about this restaurant is how nice and ordinary the staff are, so there's no attitude and they know what they are doing. We got lovely fresh brown and white bread immediately and glasses of iced water without having to ask for them. In fact, throughout the meal a young girl came back again and again offering more water.
The smoked salmon arrived piled up on the plate in a very generous way, and was excellently smooth though a bit milder than I like it. Frank's crab claws - big juicy ones and lots of them - came swimming in a buttery garlic sauce that was simple but had to be finished to the last drop.
Marie's crab and celery cocktail didn't look very special, but she said it was completely fresh and light, leaving plenty of room for the fresh tomato soup that came in between courses.
Feeling a big shook after being out for four nights on the trot celebrating her 40th birthday, Marie was very happy to quietly enjoy her main course: smoked Finian haddock with parsley sauce. The mustard mash that was billed to go with it never appeared, however. The fish was wonderful and bore no resemblance to the yellow rubbery stuff that we ate shoals of as children. This had a delicate smokey flavour and a velvety cloak of sauce. "Mmmmm, lovely invalid food," she said, appreciating its undemanding flavours. Feeling the need for red meat I had ordered the fillet and got a real baby bear's one - not too big or too small, but just right and really tender. Frank had roast duck and was delighted with its crispy skin and meat so tender that you could have eaten it with a spoon. Vegetables came on individual plates and we all zeroed in on the cream garlic potatoes that tasted as though they had just come out of the oven.
AFTER the main courses we were given hot towels for hands and face and then allowed to rest a little. For dessert we ordered a chocolate roulade filled with coffee cream between the three of us.
This might have been Delia Smith's recipe - the one that is quite foolproof and impresses guests no end. They gave us two huge slices and three forks, but, light and fluffy as it was, we could only make polite half-hearted stabs at it. This roulade is one thing I can make myself and I was tempted to take it home with me because it tastes even better the next morning for breakfast. Good strong coffee followed and it was topped up regularly. By then it well after midnight but there was no suggestion that we were being thrown out. The owners had put on a tape of shrieky Greek opera music, which was appropriate because, as you read this, I will be on holidays in Crete.
Our bill for three, including pre-dinner drinks and coffees came to a not exorbitant £111.
Forge Gallery Restaurant Collon Co Louth (Phone: 041 26272)
