‘I felt huge guilt’: New exhibit features work by NUIG students who breached Covid rules

Extracts of reflective essays written by students who breached Covid guidelines through actions such as organising house parties have become the centrepiece of a special exhibition at NUI Galway.

More than 100 students at the university were disciplined last year for breaches related to Covid regulations, about 1 per cent of the student population. Of these, 48 were asked to write an essay to consider their behaviour in the context of the pandemic.

Ahead of a broader reopening of campus, quotes from the essays are being put on display; they are, for the most part, a stew of guilt, shame and embarrassment.

“The whole world is suffering, I should suffer too, play my part, suck it up, get on with it as it is and hope for better times in the future,” wrote one student in an essay.

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Another wrote: “It is one thing to accept the consequences of your own actions and poor judgment, but it is quite another to ask anyone else to, especially your loved ones. I never want to put them in that position again. I felt terrible and a huge amount of guilt.”

In a similar vein, another wrote: "I am guilt-ridden now thinking that I could have passed on Covid-19 to someone and have them impacted physically, in the same manner as my friend and those in the [RTÉ Investigates] documentary [Covid-19: The Third Wave] ."

“We all have an enormous part to play in fighting this pandemic and I shamefully did not play mine. It distresses me to think about how my actions could have contributed to the ongoing suffering of so many people, ” wrote another student asked to put their thoughts onto paper.

Another wrote: “Frankly, I was embarrassed to think that my actions, and those of my peers, could have possibly led to more transmission of this deadly virus, and thus more hospitalisations, putting an even further strain and burden on the already overburdened healthcare system in this country.”

There were also what appeared to be some unsettling personal revelations.

“Basically, I was very naive and selfish, thinking I, and everyone around me, was invincible. As I was diagnosed with Covid-19, I couldn’t help but think – imagine if I was responsible for killing someone like my friend’s mother, just for the sake of me wanting to have fun,” wrote one.

“When I look at my actions the last night, I just cannot wrap my head around why I would do such an idiotic thing. We were sent protocols at the start of semester 2 and I read through them but still decided to breach them for some vague stupidity.”

Learning from mistakes

While the essay-writing measure drew derision from some when it was announced earlier this year, dean of students at NUI Galway Prof Michelle Millar said she was overwhelmed by the responses.

“In my role as disciplinary officer prior to Covid I very often asked students to reflect on their actions and what they learned. We all make mistakes in life – the key is what have we learned from that,” she said.

“We are an institution of learning – there is a lesson for all of us in these reflections.”

She asked the students to watch the RTÉ Investigates documentary Covid-19: The Third Wave and to reflect on their actions.

The idea of a reflective essay came while talking to a student who was going through a disciplinary process and mentioned watching a documentary and how it “opened up his eyes”.

Prof Millar said the purpose of the reflective essays was to encourage students to consider the potential impact of their actions on family and friends.

“Really, I was overwhelmed with the students and their essays. This was February. It is hard to think back to that time in terms of numbers, hospitalisations. I believe the essays and what the students wrote, particularly around their own families,” she said.

The “Reflections on Covid” display also includes quotes from other students who volunteered or were involved in frontline work during the pandemic.

It was unveiled as the campus hosts a programme of events and a welcome for second-year to fourth-year students this week and plans continue for orientation for first years late in September.