Drumcree issue comes up in the form of a joke

Only one speaker at the Church of Ireland Synod yesterday spoke about Drumcree, and he told a joke. The matter received a three-paragraph mention in the Standing Committee report, which was accepted by the Synod yesterday evening.

Drumcree was mentioned on page 120 and when that page came up for discussion, Mr John Richardson, from the Diocese of Connor, who described himself as "an extreme moderate from the Grand Orange Lodge of Ireland", told a "story" about Mr Breandan Mac Cionnaith, spokesman for the Garvaghy Road Residents' Coalition, a genie and a promise.

He said that Mr Mac Cionnaith was holidaying on the Antrim coast. He was walking on a beach and accidentally kicked a bottle, which broke. Out popped a genie, who had been trapped in the bottle for 50 years. The genie was so grateful for his release that he offered Mr Mac Cionnaith a wish.

Mr Mac Cionnaith wished for a motorway from there to Scotland, which would be named after him. The genie balked. After 50 years in the bottle, he did not think he was up to that. He asked Mr Mac Cionnaith to wish again. And this time he wished he was popular with the Orangemen of Portadown. The genie responded: "How many lanes [on the motorway to Scotland] do you want?"

Mr Richardson remarked that on Judgment Day no one was going to be asked how many days they spent on the hill at Drumcree. What people would be asked was whether they loved their neighbour with as much heart as they did themselves. He was warmly applauded by the attendance.

The Standing Committee report had this to say about Drumcree: "The Standing Committee of the General Synod records that the resolution of the General Synod 1999, in relation to the attendance of members of the Orange Order at morning service on the first Sunday in July in Drumcree parish church, was conveyed to the Orange Order by the Primate and that the Orange Order did not reply accepting the undertakings sought.

"In these circumstances and in accordance with the resolution of the General Synod, the honorary secretaries requested the rector and select vestry of Drumcree parish to withdraw their invitation, established by custom, to the service. The rector and select vestry did not acknowledge this letter.

"The Standing Committee notes that, in the event, the behaviour of the participants associated with the service was orderly and peaceful, but regrets that no direct response was made to the expressed wishes of the General Synod, a body representative of the whole Church of Ireland."