Cheese unlimited

It's like the musical equivalent of Face/Off, with Elton John and Billy Joel taking over the roles of John Travolta and Nicholas Cage, and pianos being wheeled in to act as heavy artillery. The two musicians are even going to swap places - if not faces - Billy performing an Elton number and John doing a turn from the Joel songbook. It's a blockbuster combination, alright, and it's coming to a Croke Park near you next week. Be afraid, be very, very afraid. Between them, William Martin Joel and Reginald Kenneth Dwight have penned quite a few classic tunes, including Your Song, Just The Way You Are, Goodbye Yellow Brick Road and, of course, Piano Man. They've also whipped up quite a bit of cheese in their time, including such stinkers as Tell Her About It, I'm Still Standing, We Didn't Start The Fire and Who Wears These Shoes?

It's hard to guess which of the two is the champion cheese-maker, because both Bill and Elt have been churning it out since the 1960s, when Joel tinkled the ivories with The Hassles and John gave it loads of syncopation in Bluesology. John's brand has had more time to mature, however: he had his first Top 10 hit in 1970 while Joel's breakthrough came eight years later. Many would consider The Stranger to be Billy Joel's best album, and acknowledge that Goodbye Yellow Brick Road is Elton's finest moment, but disagreement still rages over which star's later output is worse. Joel made some brave efforts with such commercial dross as The Bridge, Storm Front and River Of Dreams, but Elton must win hands down with such tepid fare as Ice On Fire, Reg Strikes Back and Made In England. Last year, Elton sealed his status as king of the cheese-makers when Candle In The Wind, his tribute to Princess Diana became the biggest selling single in recorded music history. Even if Billy Joel rewrites Just The Way You Are as a tribute to Frank Sinatra, he'll never top that. Kevin Courtney.

Elton John and Billy Joel are Face To Face at Dublin's Croke Park on Friday and Saturday. Tickets are still available for the Saturday show. Elton John plays solo at Stormont Castle on Wednesday.