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CARL O'BRIEN'S sideways look at Election 2011

CARL O'BRIEN'Ssideways look at Election 2011

Enda’s hoax road sweeper could brush up on humour

So, it turns out Enda’s heckler was a hoax after all.

Mind you, it did seem seem a tad improbable on a whole bunch of levels.

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A guy with a south Dublin accent claiming to an unemployed road sweeper and living in Finglas?

“Bobby Channels” appears to be part of a guerilla art/comedy routine and is “campaign manager” for the makey-up “Cllr Terry Ghusto”. He also seems to have popped up in various guises on issues like the IMF bailout.

Cllr Ghusto kindly issued a press release on his website yesterday, clarifying events.

“I understand there’s been a bit of a hoo haa about myself and my brother-in-law, Bobby. Bobby Channels has been under a lot of pressure lately what with his sick father . . . In light of recent events, I've given Bobby the rest of the week off as my campaign manager.”

We await his next appearance – but maybe the pair will work harder on the comedy bit next time.

Well, 10 minutes of repetitive, mind-numbing heckling isn’t exactly clever, satirical or edgy.

Number Of The Day

198

The number of viewers online watching the live stream of Enda Kenny's public rally in Carrick-on-Shannon at about 8.45pm on Tuesday night

Thirty-six pages of rebuttals that no  FF canvasser should be without

Fianna Fáil’s official canvassers’ guide offers 36 pages of rebuttal material to what it calls “the deeply cynical campaign of constant criticism” engaged in by the Opposition.

The full guide – made available on the web by Suzy Byrne of the Maman Poulet blog – is also full of earnest tips straight out of the Boy Scouts. “Bring literature, pens, and canvass cards,” it advises. “Dress smartly and comfortably, with a good pair of shoes.”

There are also handy lessons on how to deal with angry and frustrated voters too full of vitriol to form a coherent sentence.

“Be courteous and polite at all times,” it says, helpfully. “If challenged about an issue, use this as an opportunity to explain actions we have taken, or solutions Fianna Fáil and the candidate proposes. However, don’t spend too long at any one door and don’t get into arguments with voters about issues.”

The guide seems to have a few gaps, though: it doesn’t include numbers for the local accident and emergency unit or for Garda assistance.

History the judge as Bull bested Haughey

Heirs to the Kingdom,a newly published book on Kerry's political dynasties, is full of insights into the vice-like grip that a few families have on politics in the county (or the entire country, depending on how you look at it).

We were most struck by an anecdote about how John O’Donoghue managed to fight off attempts by Charlie Haughey in the late 1980s to end his family dynasty.

Haughey was determined to parachute football legend Mick O’Dwyer into the constituency – but he hadn’t reckoned on the tenacity of O’Donoghue, whose parents had both held local authority seats.

“Let’s be frank,” O’Donoghue told the author, Owen O’Shea. “The party didn’t want me to win the convention.

“I said I wasn’t going to pull out. I was offered a District Judgeship by a certain politician – but I told him hell would freeze over and I would not pull out.”

O’Donoghue has done the State some service – at least we now know how judicial appointments are made.

Election online the best bits from Youtube

What’s this? Vincent Browne having yet another go at Joan Burton? Nope, it’s Mario Rosenstock in a hilarious spoof interview (not that you’d need to satirise the original footage). And while we’re at it, here’s another spoof of Browne, which doubles up as a shameless advert for Lidl:

http://tiny.cc/0uj2z

http://tiny.cc/bordm

The following is a broadcast from . . . the Totalitarian Party. Dara Brady, who eerily resembles Fidel Castro, makes a solemn pledge to the nation in this broadcast: “This is the last election we’ll waste money on . . . after I’ve been voted in, a one-man government to rule them all!”

http://tiny.cc/80atw

Stand-off confuses the new vision

Brendan Behan once joked that the first item on the agenda of any new political movement in Ireland is “the split”.

It’s reassuring, then, to see old habits die hard. A stand-off is brewing between Fís Nua - the Irish for “new vision”, a loose umbrella group of Independent candidates – and a separate alliance which calls itself New Vision.

Fís Nua has been registered as a political party but has been unable to get its name on the ballot papers.

Meanwhile, New Vision is determined to stick with its name and has apparently registered a business name and website domain.

The people behind Fís Nua (not New Vision) say the New Vision alliance does not have an association with Fís Nua. It - Fís Nua - says it is contact with New Vision with a view to “co-operation and compromise” to avoid possible confusion.

Confused?

We are too.

Quotes of the day

"I honestly believe we'll have an overall majority."

Fine Gael TD Michael Ring on the public reaction to Enda Kenny's leadership

"They are either cynics or fools."

Green Party Senator Dan Boyle attacks Labour's plans to cut the social welfare bill without affecting rates

"'The Gruffalo' - I think he must be a member of Fianna Fáil."

Labour leader Eamon Gilmore, reading to children at a campaign stop yesterday