Katherine Lynch - Comedian
What’s your earliest holiday memory?
Visiting my aunts in Mucker, Co Monaghan, was magical. I’m Patrick Kavanagh’s grandniece and they are all his sisters. They cooked and knitted everything and made a real pet out of me. I got to sleep in his room, sit at his desk in the morning and look out over the fields.
What was your worst holiday?
Many moons ago, we decided to buck the trend for Mosney and “go foreign” for a bit of fun in the sun, choosing “up and coming” Bulgaria. On the first night, our hotel (I use that term loosely) was raided by the drug squad and even though the only thing pharmaceutical I had was a packet of Feminex, it was still frightening. The rooms were so basic even Mary and Joseph would have checked out. When we found the local shop, to our horror they didn’t sell Taytos! So we lived on goat’s cheese and local bread (which tasted closer to cavity wall insulation).
The nightlife the travel agent told us was as good as Ibiza turned out to be three mafia-run disco bars with more staff than customers and a DJ who’d make Larry Gogan look like Fat Boy Slim. We subjected ourselves to three nights of “Bulgarian Disco Classics”, men with more eyes than teeth and two-for-one cocktails like Parazone with swizzle sticks.
By day four we’d had enough, so we decided to take a taxi to the nearest big town. After waiting two hours, we were so anxious to get going we failed to notice our driver was blind drunk and nursing a bottle of vodka. I asked him to ease up on his Schumacher impression, to which he just laughed, lost control of the car and drove into a tree stump. In the commotion my friend mistakenly knocked the driver’s glasses off. He demanded $50 to replace his damaged specs and big mouth here told him to drive us to the police station.
Unbeknownst to me, if seeking justice in Bulgaria in the 1980s, the police station was the last place to go. Before I knew it I had a gun to my head with the choice “pay the cash or be deported and never allowed back to Bulgaria”. Although the latter was very appealing, we paid up. On the way home to Ireland, I decided maybe Mosney wasn’t so bad after all.
What was your best holiday?
Island hopping in Greece this summer from Athens down through Paros, Ios, Santorini and back up to Mykonos. It was amazing and every island had something different to offer. The Greeks might be broke like us, but at least the sunshine is free.
If budget or work were no restriction, what would be your dream holiday?
Somewhere with no internet and nothing that reminds me of the modern world – no cars, no Spars. Maybe a little island off Croatia.
If you had your pick, who would you bring on holiday with you?
A younger Jack Nicholson back like he was in Easy Rider. Can you imagine the adventure!
What’s your favourite place in Ireland?
Dingle as it’s so ruggedly beautiful and it’s where I spent summer holidays as a child. I remember days that went on forever and beaches that went on for miles.
Your recommended holiday reading?
In Greece, I read Christine Dwyer Hickey's remarkable book, Last Train from Liguria.
Where will you go to next?
New York, New York! I’ve only been there briefly, and I’d love to take a bigger bite of the Big Apple next time. My dream would be to study film there for a couple of months, which I may just do.
* Comedian Katherine Lynch is performing her live show The Hack-of-Ya Tourat venues including Vicar Street and the Helix in Dublin, and TLT, Drogheda. See aikenpromotions.com
In conversation with
GENEVIEVE CARBERY