IF YOU’RE bonkers about conkers here’s an event that’s right up your tree. The 2010 Irish Conker Championships take place next month on the Village Green in Freshford, Co Kilkenny.
That gives you around six weeks to find them, bake them, freeze them or put them in a bag under the radiator. Whatever works for you.
Actually, you don’t even have to do that because all conkers (and strings) are supplied by the official Conker Committee.
The charity championship is a serious business and strict rules apply.
The game commences with a toss of a coin and the winner of the toss can elect to strike or receive. At least 20cm of lace must be in evidence and each player can take three alternate strikes at the opponent’s nut. By which I mean conker.
On that note, no deliberate miss hits are permitted. If both nuts smash at the same time, a replay is called.
If you tangle the laces three times you are disqualified.
Games are timed, no substitution of players is allowed and, presumably, performance enhancing drugs are strictly forbidden.
Actually, conkers could probably qualify as a danger sport. The event website cautions anyone practising at home not to throw things up into trees to get conkers because your missile might hit someone, most likely yourself.
Equally, if you don’t tie a big enough knot in your string you’ll take someone’s eye out.
Then there’s all that skewering to do.
Once you’ve conquered the conker however, it’s all to play for. Go on, knock yourself out.
The 2010 Irish Conker Championships take place on Sunday, October 24th