Ross O’Carroll-Kelly: ‘Why does everything have to be a major production with this family?’

‘I’d rather spend the next 12 months in prison than one night in a limited services hotel’

‘Put your mask on, will you? You’re only making things worse for yourself’

‘Put your mask on, will you? You’re only making things worse for yourself’

I watch the old dear totter into court in her high heels, sunnies perched on top of her head, a scowl of disapproval on her face, like she’s ordered a Tom Collins and she can tell from the smell that the borman has stinted on the gin.

It’d be impossible not to feel sorry for the woman.

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