Ross O’Carroll-Kelly: ‘75? What on earth makes you think I’m 75?’

‘They’re using the vaccine to force people to say they’re over 70 when they’d pass for 50’

Illustration: Alan Clarke

Illustration: Alan Clarke

It’d be fair to say that the old pair have never really gotten the hang of the whole, like, Zoom thing? Yeah, no, she still talks like she’s shouting into a cave, while he keeps shaking his head and laughing to himself every 60 seconds, then saying sh*t like, “Foxrock to Killiney! And look at that picture! HG Wells couldn’t have predicted it!”

“So how have you both been?” Sorcha goes, just trying to come up with things to say.

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