‘I’ve been booking supermorket delivery slots weeks in advance. Then selling them for €70 each’

Ross O’Carroll-Kelly: Welcome to the horsh realities of the free morket, Honor goes

'Why do you have to shout? I told you before, if you want me for something, just text me the details and I’ll decide if it’s important enough for me to come downstairs.'

'Why do you have to shout? I told you before, if you want me for something, just text me the details and I’ll decide if it’s important enough for me to come downstairs.'

So – yeah, no – I walk into the dining room to be confronted by a sight I never thought I’d see. My five-year-old triplets are playing cords with my old man, each with a lorge brandy in front of him and a cigor long enough to inseminate a whale wedged between their tiny fingers.

I’m like, “What the fock is going on here?”

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