I’m pulling the Goop plug – no jade eggs are going in my yoni
This time I’m serious about finishing with Gwyneth Paltrow’s online lifestyle magazine
Fresh jade eggs for your yoni from Goop. Photograph: goop.com
I’ve just been reading about a woman who went to a “women’s forest gathering” in northern California to participate in a jade egg ceremony under the redwood trees, and it struck me, like a tin of processed peas hurled squarely to the temple, that I am not living a fully enlightened life.
When it comes to embracing an alternative lifestyle, I’m not playing with the full deck. Indeed, I suspect I might be a couple of slices short of a cosmic pan. You see, in all 55 and one quarter years of my ragged existence I have never, ever spent a day with a jade egg in my yoni.