How can we keep sex fun while trying to conceive?

Ask Roe: It’s hard to get in the mood when sex feels ‘scheduled’

Embrace what you love and find attractive about each other, so that sex remains about your connection and pleasure, not just the functional end-goal of pregnancy. Photograph: iStock

Embrace what you love and find attractive about each other, so that sex remains about your connection and pleasure, not just the functional end-goal of pregnancy. Photograph: iStock

Dear Roe,
My partner and I have been together for four years and we have recently started trying for a baby. We have a very loving and often adventurous sex life, but would usually have sex only about once or twice a week. Now that we are trying to conceive, we have to make love a lot more often at certain times of the month. I don’t put pressure on him, just initiate more when it’s the right time, but he finds it hard to get in the mood when sex feels “scheduled”. How can we keep things romantic and fun? 

For couples trying to get out of a dry spell or trying to get pregnant, the idea of “scheduling” sex can feel too transactional or business-like. It can feel counter-intuitive to the image of sex that pop culture often perpetuates; that sex is always spontaneous and comes after an overwhelming wave of lust.

The Irish Times
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