Are vendors of period wrecks living on the same planet?

HOUSE HUNTER:Our search to buy a home is on again – and houses we were told would be long gone are still for sale and much cheaper, writes DON MORGAN

WE’RE RENTING in Fundrum, south Dublin, and as stopgap measures go, it’s been inspired. Life is dandy, so why bother looking for anywhere to buy?

The rental property we’re in is compact and tres bijou. It’s half the physical size of our Palazzo di Carlovia, and yet the mental space it’s afforded us is immeasurable. We now have: friends visiting, daylight and the chance to walk and talk without falling asleep at the same time. We’ve even given sustenance to people seeking refuge from the cold emptiness that follows a Daniel O’Donnell gig.

Meanwhile, the property market remains as stagnant as the dodgy pint of Guinness you blame for feeling colossally hung over the morning after.

As it is, many in the property sector are fumbling for Panadol and a bacon buttie: one conveyance too many? We’ve no sympathy for them. So why not just keep renting here and prolong their agony?

If this were the Continent that would be a goer. Prior to moving in, you can agree to certain alterations to the property with the landlord. You have to paint the property every three years and leave the place spick and span on moving out, including walls painted white.

Despite my issue with the usual Irish Land War hang-ups we have about owning property, buying makes sense.

Right now, we’re paying into a place which isn’t ours, yet which serves its current utilitarian purpose well. House prices are also still going down, so let’s see what we can get for our cash and obtain an asset.

Ultimately, we want to put down roots somewhere, so it may as well be in a location close to work and amenities.

If we have kids, renting will be an unnecessary and annoying pain in the wallet. We can pay a bank or pay a landlord, at the end of one we get a house, at the other we get our deposit cheque.

Screw the cheque, show me the house. With renewed vigour we’re scouring the ads for houses we can (a) afford and (b) like. Sure enough, we’ve found several potential homes. Oddly, they’re ones we thought were long gone, but are still available and mysteriously, much cheaper. Could it be that we were being spun a yarn or two by agents?

One period wreck in Dún Laoghaire, which we were reprimanded for even viewing, so far out of our budget was it, is down from well in excess of 800k to 650k. Across the road, a refurbished version of same is on sale, for 585k. No contest – are the vendors of the wreck living on the same planet as us?

Another house was the subject of frantic calls from the agent – would we be in a position to best an offer of 535k on a house. The house was originally on the market for just under 800k, and we had looked at it early on when we knew even less what we wanted than now.

That was May and clearly that urgency didn’t catch on with the punters – it’s still available.

The longer you look, the more the emptiness of some agents’ games becomes apparent. One property near our apartment is within our reach. We reckon it’s been on the market for at least six months. When we originally enquired, we were given the hard sell – you’d better jump in right now because in two weeks it’ll be either sold or rented out. You will be riven with regret, ending up mad and eating out of bins. It’ll be rented and you’ll be sectioned.

It’s not rented, it seems, and apart from the usual desire to set fire to things, there’s no sign of madness. We actually left having a look at this house, when it was way out of budget. Now, composed and back in the hunt, we’re more aware that you need the calm of a Jedi master to deal with the hustle of some agents. That and a big ass light sabre. Their powers are clearly getting weak.

The property sector is definitely hung over. I just hope they don’t find the Panadol yet, out of spite. We’ll buy responsibly. Just the one house, no bingeing.