‘We’ve been together 18 months but my boyfriend won’t have sex with me’

He admitted he loves me once but he never ever says ‘I love you’

People can need time to recover from emotional trauma Photograph: iStock

People can need time to recover from emotional trauma Photograph: iStock

Dear Roe,

I’ve been with my boyfriend for over a year and a half we’ve never had sex. He’s been really hurt from previous relationships and has completely shut down. In the beginning of our relationship we tried to have sex but he kept losing his erection and he completely gave up in the end, so nothing has happened since. Now, he won’t even let me see him naked, he doesn’t hug me unless I hug him first and when I kiss him on the lips he will only give me a quick kiss back and then wipes his mouth cos he says it’s wet. We get on great together and I really love him. I know he loves me back – he did actually admit it once but never ever does he say I love you! Please help as I’m at my wits end.

The Irish Times
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