‘We’ve been married 38 years but I feel my wife left me many years ago’

Tell Me About It: ‘Intimacy has gone and I am living the life of a bachelor in a marriage’

Perhaps it is time to accept that, in spite of years of effort, it is actually over. Photograph: Braun S/Getty

Perhaps it is time to accept that, in spite of years of effort, it is actually over. Photograph: Braun S/Getty

Myself and my wife have been together for 38 years. We have three grown-up children, the youngest still living at home. We are both semi-retired and our mortgage paid. Everything is going great except our relationship.

We have had some problems with our marriage over the years but now I think problems within our marriage have come to a head. I would say that the whole Covid crisis in the last few months has brought problems we have to a head and we have not spoken to each other for three weeks. When I say I am not happy with the way our relationship has gone what I mean is that I feel my wife left me many years ago. We are living together but she has left me. She very rarely wants to do anything with me, walks on Sunday, weekends away, etc. I feel I have been abandoned and am living the life of a bachelor. Intimacy has gone many years ago. An important issue is that anything we do together is always initiated by me and I feel she is just going along with it.

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