‘The type of pornography that my partner watches upsets me’

Tell Me About It: ‘The frequency at which he views porn while in work is also worrying’

‘I have withdrawn a bit from sex, but not entirely.’ Photograph: iStock

‘I have withdrawn a bit from sex, but not entirely.’ Photograph: iStock

Question: Both myself and my partner, whom I met about three years ago, are in our early 30s. For nearly a full year our relationship was casual and based almost entirely on sex, but we eventually bonded over our mutual liberal outlook on life and became close.

We now live together and our relationship is rock solid. Sex is extremely important to both of us and we both get irritable if we go too long without some intimacy. When we moved in together, he informed me that he used porn on a regular basis. I told him that this was his business and if it did not detract from our sex life then it should not be an issue for me. During lockdown, we used each other’s electronic devices interchangeably and some way or another our laptops synced. It was then that I noticed his online searches and was shocked with the frequency at which he views porn during his working day, in a large, shared office.

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