Party time for unborn babies

Expectant parents in the US are holding gender-revealing gatherings – could they catch on here?

IT USED to be that sex parties were something that happened behind drawn curtains or in sweaty underground cellars, involving masked adults. But the latest craze coming from the US has nothing to do with adults at all.

A new practice has begun where couples announce the gender of their unborn baby to family and friends during a get-together. The soirees, or gender- naming parties, were given prominence recently when Associated Press writer Greg Bluestein wrote about his experience hosting such a party.

Bluestein described the scene moments before he and his wife discovered the gender of their baby, according to the colour a friend had decorated a special cake.

“About 50 friends gorged on a dozen pizzas and guzzled down some beer until it was time for dessert. Then we all gathered in our kitchen in front of the massive sheet cake. Anticipation mounted as we eyed the icing.

“We slowly cut into the cake, separating a piece. I looked. Sheryl looked. I wasn’t quite sure. I checked again. She checked again. Cheers echoed through the house as we saw the pink icing.”

Now several online sites have picked up the craze, and rules for gender parties have been formulated. Generally, a couple will have someone at their doctor’s office note the gender of their baby and write it down in a sealed envelope.

The parents then deliver the envelope to nearby bakers, who make a cake with either blue or pink colouring, depending on the gender. The cake is revealed for the first time at a party at the parents’ home with family and friends gathered around.

So, could gender parties take off in Ireland? Recent first-time mother Pamela O’Leary, from Cork, doesn’t think so. During her pregnancy, Pamela and her husband, Killian, decided to find out the gender of their baby before birth, but she says it is not information she would have felt like sharing at a family get-together.

“We actually had a few friends who were against us finding out and they said we were control freaks. We certainly didn’t feel the need to have a party. I mean, can you imagine someone ringing you up and asking, ‘Would you like to come to our gender-announcing party?’ I don’t think it would be the Irish way – we don’t do the baby shower thing either.”

O’Leary says that finding out the gender of your baby is not such a momentous moment, and therefore does not need to be commercialised by way of a party and expected gifts.

“For us, we just knew we wanted to find out. It was great, but we got on with our day after it. It wasn’t a big deal. I mean, it’s either going to be a boy or a girl, it’s not going to be a goat! You know? It’s a simple thing and it’s best to keep it that way.”

Back to the US, and new mother Melissa Stafford has put details of her “Gender Party Reveal” on stafford moments.blogspot.com. Melissa says the reasons for having the party were so that she wouldn’t have to call each friend or family member individually to tell them the gender of her baby, and having waited two years to get pregnant, she wanted to savour every moment.

She and husband, Chad, went so far as to wear ‘It’s a Boy’ and ‘It’s a Girl’ T-shirts, and similar type decorations were placed around their house.

Describing the evening, she said, “ started with everyone just chatting and enjoying appetizers and drinks. During this time Chad and I asked each of our friends to vote for their favourite baby girl name and baby boy name. We had our top four that we liked and then if they wanted, our friends could give their suggestion.”

After some more party games, the couple emerged wearing blue T-shirts to signify the gender of their baby for all present. There was even a cake.

Melissa, though, is determined not to get too carried away with baby preparations. “In case you are wondering I am not having a nursery reveal party. I did get asked last night. This is it for parties until the baby shower!”