‘My partner never once lifted a finger to help me with my brother’

Tell Me About It: I love my fiance but also have a commitment to my sibling, who has special needs

My partner had a detailed itinerary for each day, consisting of watching Netflix and online gaming. It didn’t involve helping me with my brother. Photograph: iStock

My partner had a detailed itinerary for each day, consisting of watching Netflix and online gaming. It didn’t involve helping me with my brother. Photograph: iStock

I have a brother with special needs. He has both intellectual and physical disabilities, and has lived in a residential setting since he was in his early teens, but every year he comes to the family home several times for extended holidays.

Our home has been adapted to meet his needs, and as the only other sibling I have always helped to care for him. I have always looked forward to him coming home, and never seen him in any way as a burden. I have been living in an apartment with my fiance for a number of years, and my mother, who is widowed, has cared for my brother during his home stays. She is quite frail and has struggled to provide him with safe care.

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