My husband wants to schedule sex but this goes against my idea of fun and consent

Dear Roe: We’re lucky if we have sex once a month but find his idea a bit weird and transactionary

You need to make time for a healthy sex life. Photograph: iStock

You need to make time for a healthy sex life. Photograph: iStock

Dear Roe,
My husband and I have been married for seven years and have two gorgeous children. Our life together is pretty great, though of course we have less time, energy and money for romance or quality alone time. This has taken a toll on our sex life, and we’re lucky if we have sex once a month.

Because we’ve been together for so long and our life is decidedly unglamorous, I find it hard to try be “sexy” or “seductive” with him. And to be honest, sometimes if we’re going to bed, if the choice is to have sex or get an extra few minutes sleep, I’ll take the sleep, no question.

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