‘My husband’s family excludes us from events because we don’t have kids’

Tell me about it: He hates confrontation and doesn’t want me to say anything

It feels thoughtless rather than purposely cruel, but it makes an already deeply painful situation worse

It feels thoughtless rather than purposely cruel, but it makes an already deeply painful situation worse

Question: I have a wonderful relationship with my husband, and we are very happy together. We have longed for children but due to my health we are unable to conceive (I had two failed IVFs before a cancer diagnosis this year). This has been unimaginably painful for us both and I have a lot of guilt as I feel it’s my fault (I am in therapy).

My question is: my husband’s large family regularly exclude us from events – gatherings, family holidays – because we don’t have kids. We hear second hand these things are going ahead and it’s so horrible. My husband has had a dreadful year, supporting his wife through a life-threatening illness during a pandemic, and it’s so difficult to see him suffer when his family excludes him. It feels thoughtless rather than purposely cruel, but it makes an already deeply painful situation worse.

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