‘My husband pursued an affair 3 weeks after I miscarried’

Ask Roe: There are no words to describe the pain I feel when I think about this  

“The thought of breaking my family apart and changing my children’s lives breaks my heart.” Photograph: iStock

“The thought of breaking my family apart and changing my children’s lives breaks my heart.” Photograph: iStock

Dear Roe, 

I met my husband when I was 16, got married at 23 and have been married over 14 years. My husband is 8 years older than me and when I met him I idolised him. However, during the five years we dated he would regularly text other women. When I would confront him he would tell me I was controlling and paranoid, and that he couldn’t put up with me. He was having (at least) an emotional affair the month before we got married, was texting her on our honeymoon. I thought he would stop but by the time our third child was born he was still texting other women I knew from the town we live in. Three weeks after I had a miscarriage he met up with his best friend’s wife. I confronted him, however he denied anything and again told me I was jealous, etc. It was only when we went to counselling that he told me they had discussed having an affair that night. There are no words to describe the pain I feel when I think about this. 

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