My boyfriend hides his genitals from me and I’m panicking

Ask Roe: If you can’t accept your boyfriend’s boundaries around his body, you should not be with him

‘Should I consult him about it, and run the risk of really offending him if I’m incorrect?’ Photograph: Getty

‘Should I consult him about it, and run the risk of really offending him if I’m incorrect?’ Photograph: Getty

Dear Roe,
I think my boyfriend’s a hermaphrodite. Over lockdown, I started talking to this guy I met online. We’d do video chats, he seemed really sweet and after two weeks of constant chat, we made it official. Since the easing of lockdown, we’ve been meeting up more and more regularly.

We haven’t had sex yet, and he seems really hesitant to show that part of himself. Whenever we’re doing stuff together, he only likes to do stuff to me, not vice versa. He never takes his trousers off fully, only exposing just enough, as if he’s trying to hide something. Seeing him in the shower is ultimately out of the question, and I overheard him talking to his friends about some secret he has to keep from me.

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