‘I’ve been having an affair but haven’t heard from her since lockdown’

‘I’m married for five years and we have both been unfaithful to our partners’

Ask yourself the hard questions. Decide what you want. Stop sneaking around and hiding from yourself. Photograph: iStock

Ask yourself the hard questions. Decide what you want. Stop sneaking around and hiding from yourself. Photograph: iStock

Dear Roe,
I was having an affair with a colleague which started last Christmas. I haven’t seen my colleague since the lockdown restriction measures and I don’t know when I will see her again. I’m married for five years and my colleague has a boyfriend, so we have both been unfaithful to our partners. We hadn’t spoken about how serious our relationship is or if and when it should stop. The affair took place around work hours, at lunchtime or after work. It was really exciting and we both seemed to enjoy acting like kids again. Since the lockdown, we are separated and I haven’t heard from my colleague frequently since it started. I want to see her and discuss what she wants. I’m not sure what I’m going to do. Can you help please?

In March (remember March, that month that happened 85 years ago?), writer Roxane Gay tweeted out a simple question that started a firestorm of speculation, anxiety and memes: “What are people having affairs doing to get through quarantine?”

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