I’m cheating and don’t want to give up either man. What should I do?

Ask Roe: ‘I need both of them to function and love both deeply but differently’

‘I justify this in my heart and mind by believing that I am true to me above all. Can we have it all or am I being selfish?’ Photograph: Getty Images

‘I justify this in my heart and mind by believing that I am true to me above all. Can we have it all or am I being selfish?’ Photograph: Getty Images

Dear Roe,

I fell deeply in love with a man five years ago: there was an immediate sexual and emotional connection on both sides but too powerful and fearful to manage by either of us. We went our separate ways for a while but reconnected seven months before I got married, and we have settled on seeing each other casually when we both can. I have no regrets and feel no guilt because I love him deeply, though there is a part of him that is hurting.

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