‘I’m a 40-year-old woman. How do I tell a man I’m a virgin?’

Ask Roe: Learning to trust yourself could be the key to developing the ability to trust others

‘You are not alone. So please do not worry about that – a lot of people have had no sex, or a limited amount of sex.’ File photograph: iStock/Getty Images

‘You are not alone. So please do not worry about that – a lot of people have had no sex, or a limited amount of sex.’ File photograph: iStock/Getty Images

Dear Roe,

When I was young, I had romantic notions of losing my virginity with “The One”. I found him, or so I thought but he couldn’t be trusted. I loved him but I knew I couldn’t do it with him. When that relationship ended, I went from one untrustworthy man to another. There was love with some, passion with others but there was still no virginity losing. I began to think I had hung on to it for this long I should wait until someone truly trustworthy came along. I waited but time flew by and now I am a 40-year-old virgin. Now, I know my taste in men has been questionable, and I have worked on the reasons why, but my question is if I do actually find a decent, trustworthy guy how on Earth do I tell him I am a virgin? Will a man want a 40-year-old virgin? Do 40-year-old female virgins even exist in Ireland, other than me, and those who have waited on religious grounds? How has my life become a Steve Carell movie?

The Irish Times
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