‘He says my favourite kind of sex isn’t really his thing’

Ask Roe: ‘Four months in to our relationship, my older partner has never given me oral sex’

By only discussing sex when there is an problem, we’re ensuring we remain inarticulate and awkward when it comes to conversations about sex. Photograph: iStock

By only discussing sex when there is an problem, we’re ensuring we remain inarticulate and awkward when it comes to conversations about sex. Photograph: iStock

Dear Roe,

I’m seeing an older man (by 15 years) who is wonderful (if a little set in his ways – he thinks I am too!). Four months in, he has never given me oral sex. In mumbled conversation in bed, I asked about this; he said he had given it in the past, but it wasn’t really his thing. I told him it was the best part of sex for me, but nothing has changed since and I haven’t raised the subject again. I do give him oral sex – not that I love it, but I do love pleasuring him and that is enough reason for me.

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